reality check

an officemate tells me they saw my ex at the supermarket.

another officemate right away asks, "was he with someone?"  ooops....

the answer was no.

hmmm... i wonder how i'd actually feel if the answer was otherwise.  i sincerely want him to be happy.  i want him to have someone.  i suppose my heart would ache a bit once i find out but that is only normal.  it doesn't mean i want him for myself.

i have no expectations at all of getting back and starting over.  funny but my officemates and my friends have.  (i don't even discuss my ex with them but they are the ones who bring him up.  my best friend even dreamt about us, imagine!  i've never...)  many times they've told me, in the end, it's going to be us still.  they talk about second chances.  i think the possibility is remote.  i like to say everyone deserves a second chance but not a third.  this one lasted more than six years, we've had so much more than just a second, a third, a fourth, chance...

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