i received an invitation to treat me out on my forthcoming birthday... totally unexpected. consistently for years, this guy could not squeeze me into his schedule. the few times he would, i'd be bumped off at the last minute by anything and everything. his time was too precious to be spent on little me.
i don't really understand why now when i do not at all expect anything from him anymore, he offers to spend some time with me. this is not the first time this happened. things he would not do before, he is willing to do now. for years i was practically begging for even just the teeniest of his time. but no, he had more important things to attend to. i was supposedly strong anyway, self-sufficient. i could get by on my own so i was the least of his concerns... the last of his priorities.
i am stronger now, more self-sufficient. yup, i could get by on my own. still, i am looking forward to having someone who, even with the foregoing, would care for me as if i am this weak and helpless damsel in distress. i am waiting for my knight, and i am looking forward, not backward, for that.
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