i don't want to lose them

i was at an officemate's area when the six-year old daughter of some other officemate from the adjacent room popped in.  she started asking me about the stuffed toy to my left.

i said, "ooops, sorry... i really don't know... this is not my place... this chair is (officemate's name) and this is her desk, too..."

the girl went, "why?  don't you have your own chair?"

ooops, haha...

later, i was already at my desk.  she again pops in and sees my own stuffed toy.

she remarks it's nice.

i say, "thank you."

a short while later, she comes back and asks whether she can borrow the toy.

i say, "sure."

she gets it and plays with it.

later, she again comes back, and, clutching the toy, tells me, "it really would be nice if i can have something like this..."

ooops... my heart was torn.  i like that toy.  do i give it to her or not?  hmmmm.... i told myself if she asks for it explicitly then, with a tiny bit of a heartache, i will.

she, however, puts it back and sees this time my tiny bear holding up a bouquet of roses.

she tells me, "your stuff are really nice."

i again say, "thank you."

i was wondering whether she'll ask for the bear.  she did not.

she left, came back again, this time bringing some other little girl with her.  she shows the girl my stuff, they squeal in delight, then they both leave.

hmmm... seems like nothing to the kids that they left without the toys.  such joy to me that i got to keep them.

i've had said toys in front of me for the longest time.  i just take for granted that they're there and that they'll remain there.  then there loomed the possibility of parting and suddenly i realized how dear they are to me...

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