what carries more weight

at a party last night, someone i rarely see saw me and blurted out, 'you're so fat!'

huh?!

and he repeated it a couple more times as if i'm some bloated whale!

uhhh!!!  to think all along i've been trying to gain back some weight.  i've lost more than 20 lbs. ->  intentional only initially.  the last few pounds i just kept on shedding off even if i've stopped trying to slim down...  : O

actually, i've long realized that heaviness is subjective.  those who knew me from my, uhm, round and fleshy days see me now and think i'm too thin.  those who met me at my lighter weight see me and tell me i have gained / am gaining weight.  personally, i'd really like to gain back a few more pounds.  i don't like skinny.  i prefer voluptuous... va-va-voom!  ).(

anyway, no matter what others say, there's only one whose opinion matters to me at this point.  and so far, he's been saying i'm sexy, nyahaha!!!  (uhm, i don't really know whether what he says is consistent with what he really thinks inside, wahaha!!!)  honestly, i think i had a pretty good shape before but i somehow lost it when i lost all those pounds.  at least though, there's still someone who says things to make me feel good about myself be i 'thin' or 'fat.'  yup, it's not so much how you look  ->  it's how he sees you.  i guess i really am just fine...  yea!!!  \m/

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