certainly not

sent a generous gift to someone noontime...  i told the recipient it's not from me but from someone who doesn't want to be named...

recipient:  'doesn't want to be named???'

me:  'yes...  a friend of mine...'

recipient, in a very confident tone:  'ah...  i already have someone in mind!'

huh?!  you think you know but you don't...  you'll never guess in a million years...  \m/

dear is relative

dad tells us there's no need to cook as he has already bought food:  dish this, this, this...  dessert that, that, that...

me to my aunt:  'i'm waiting for the punchline, auntie...'

aunt:  'what punchline?'

me:  'the price...'

true enough, at the end of the enumeration, he mentioned the price...

we burst out laughing...

mom:  'why do you have to include the price?'

dad:  'so you'll know it's expensive...'

aunt chuckles:  'it's not...  actually, it's cheap...'

; p

male and female

in the province this morning, our tricycle driver's name was 'josephine.'  he's a male (and of course, 'she' is a female, hehe...).

according to him, during the elections, he was being questioned because he was male.

and then when he was getting married, he was being questioned because his name was female.

gender stereotypes...  : }

i'm full

my mom comes home...  usually she brings all sorts of food:  pizza, pastries, sandwich, etc...

i see her unpacking beside the dining table...

i excitedly ask:  'what do you have, mom?'

right at that moment she was pulling out a bottle...

me:  'soy sauce?!'

mom:  'i passed by the grocery...'

; p

no bills

at the supermarket, i got my aunt ice cream bars i've been asking her to try...

aunt:  'put those here, i'll pay...'

me:  'oh, don't...  i'm giving these to you so i should be the one to pay...'

aunt:  'you don't have money, right?'

me:  'wahaha...  sounds pathetic...  i do bring my cards, auntie...'

but yup, i don't bring cash...  : }

you don't look, you don't see

talking horses...

mom:  'what do you call this creature that's half-man, half-horse?'

me:  'isn't that pan?'

brother:  'isn't it centurion?'

me:  'centurion is head of 100 men...'

aunt:  'sphinx?'

me:  'that's half-lion...'

cousin googles...

it's centaur...

we look at the pics...  horse with four legs with the head and torso of a man...

me:  'oh...  four legs...  pan only had two...  standing up...  can you check pan?'

ta-daaan...  pan is half-man, half-goat!

me:  'that's a goat?!  all this time i thought it was a horse...'

uhm...  i never really looked...  always just a glance or from the side of my eye...  too scary for me to examine...  : }

the child knows

my two-year-old granddaughter fell into the pool... (aw!) to ease her fright, my nieces burst into a shower of praise: 'what a good swimmer!' 'wow! she swims so well!' blah-blah-blah... suddenly the little girl went: 'i slipped...' ; )

not disconnected

at my cousin's place last night... me: 'did the lights go out here?' cousin: 'no...' me: 'really? brownout at the house...' cousin: 'just your house?' me: 'huh?! in our street!' we do pay our electric bill, y'know... ; )

barking up the wrong tree

friend requested me to send a couple of pics to her niece...  she gave me the address <NAME1NAME2>@yahoo.com...

ok...  i e-mailed the pics to <name1name2>@yahoo.com  ->  the message bounced...  : }

i told my friend.

friend:  'did you use all caps?'

me:  'no...  but that's immaterial in yahoo...'

she said she'll try.  she did and it was successful.  she sent me a message:

"hahahaha  all cap <name1name2lastname>@yahoo.com..."

hahahaha...  duh!  that was successful because you used the correct address, i.e., with the last name.  there was no last name in the address you gave me.  try using lowercase and the mail will still go through.

; p

what matters most

cakes on the table...  i get a slice of one...  before trying the other, i ask what it is...

mom:  'carrot?'

me:  'oh...  i don't like carrot cake...'

sister:  'maybe banana...'

me:  'i don't like banana cake either...'

sister:  'ask dad...  he had a slice...'

me to dad:  'what is it?'

dad:  'it's delicious...'

me:  'yup...  but is it carrot or banana?'

dad:  'maybe mocha...'

me:  'that's mocha?'

dad:  'or chocolate...'

me:  'that's not chocolate...  what did it taste like?'

dad:  'it's good...'

me:  'i mean, what kind of cake is it?'

dad:  'i don't really bother about kind...  to me, it's just delicious or not...  that one's delicious...'

; )

up to it

in the news this evening, a clip was aired showing manny pacquiao's reply to a question about the strong punch landed in his head by timothy bradley in the fourth round of the Pacquiao - Bradley 2 (The Rematch) fight held in las vegas april 12.  (pacquiao won by unanimous decision regaining the WBO Welterweight title he lost to bradley in 2012.)

according to pacquiao, that punch made him confident as it showed him that he can take his opponent's blows.

yesssssss!!!  instead of being a downer, the punch became a channel to affirm the recipient's strength...  hah!  \m/

aside from that

my mom's masseuse gave my sister a massage last night...

mom:  'what did <masseuse> say?'

sister:  ''thank you'...'

; )

impressionable

i saw my cute three-year-old granddaughter and she was enlarging her eyes and expanding her nostrils.  i went, 'aw, ugly!'

she retorted:  'you are ugly...'

ooops...  echo...  : }

we should be careful with our words...  especially around children.  they repeat what they hear.  they mimic what they see.  may our words and our deeds be a good one to follow.