how many times

waiter:  'what sides do you want, ma'am?  onion rings, fries or fruits?'

me to friend:  'you choose...'

friend:  'what do you want?'

me:  'they don't have what i want so just be the one to choose...'

friend:  'you want fries, right?'

me:  'choose what you want...'

friend:  'you don't like fruits?'

me:  'get what you want...'

friend:  'onion rings?'

me:  'up to you...'

friend:  'what do you want?'

me:  'gggaaaahhhhh!!!  i told you to be the one to choose, stop asking me!!!'

friend to server:  'oh!  she's angry already...  okay, okay, onion rings...'



my sister made sandwiches in the sandwich maker...

me:  'wow, they smell so good!  ugh!  i'll get fat again!  i've eaten rice and then i'll have bread...'

i suddenly chuckled at what i said...  she made the sandwiches for herself...  why am i including myself in the equation?


what a question

sister:  'there are so many big christmas decors at our office...  life-size...  the santas, they're bigger than me!'

me:  'aw, you should have told me earlier...  i could have dropped by...'

sister:  'you drop by tomorrow...'

me:  'i won't be in the area tomorrow...'

sister:  'some other day...'

me:  'i dunno yet when i'll be in the vicinity...  you knew i was there...  you should have told me...'

sister:  'you didn't ask...'

me:  'huh?!  who on earth goes around asking whether there are life-size decors in one's office???'



me to guard:  'did a senior pass here?'

guard:  'male or female?'

me:  'female...  here she is...'
i show him a pic of my mom on my phone...

guard to guy:  'check the CCTV...'

guy to me:  'what did she do to you, ma'am?'

me:  'huh?!  no need for the CCTV...  she's my mom...  she didn't do anything...  i dropped her off in front before parking and now i don't know which entrance she used so i'm asking...'

boy, that building is secure!  ; )

polka dots

attending a themed party...

mom tries on a new top and calls me:  'is this ok for the polka dot party?'

me:  'those are not circles, mom...'

mom points to tiny dots here and there in the blouse's general design:  'these are dots, right?'

me:  'that's stretching!'

mom pulls at her top:  'stretching?'

me:  'you're stretching the definition of polka dots...'

; p

play along

my dad tells my mom he got to chat with an old couple at the supermarket...  when he asked how old they were, the reply he got was, 'what do you think?'

my mom right away went:  'you know, when someone asks you to guess how old he is, that means he thinks he looks younger than his age.  therefore give a low number so he won't be disappointed...'

; )

sizes and prices

my mom likes to give me clothes on my birthday...  almost always, they are too small...  : }

year after year, i tell her i'm not a Medium and year after year she tells me Large is too big and that Medium seems just right.  year after year i fit her Medium and year after year i end up going to the store to have her gift exchanged for sometimes not just a Large but even an XL (yup, i may not look it but clothes-wise i'm an L, XL hereabouts).

this year she overdid herself, wahaha.  she gave me a Small!

me:  'mom, i won't even fit in Medium and you're giving me a Small?'

mom:  'you're smaller now...  that would fit...  try it...'

ta-daannn!  it was tight...  : }

instead of making me bring them back to the store, she took it back and said she'll just give me something else.

me:  'thanks, mom, but don't bother...  it's the thought that counts...  it's enough that i know you thought of giving me a gift...  i don't really have to have the gift...'

i thought that was agreed.

well, last week she gave me a belated / replacement gift!  two pairs of shorts this time.  guess what, they would not even get past my, uhm, butt...  : }

so again i was at the store checking out a bigger size for exchange.  the saleslady was giving me the next bigger size and the next bigger size and the next bigger size.  finally something seemed a close fit, not quite yet but almost.

me:  'there!  this is close...  what size is this?'

saleslady:  '6, ma'am...'

me:  'oh...  what size is the one i'm returning?'

saleslady:  '1, ma'am...'

me:  '1?!  my mom saw me as a 1 and here i am even bigger than a 6?!'

saleslady:  'maybe she sees you as still a baby, ma'am...'

oh!  hehe...

anyway, i wanted something a little loose and the next size was out of stock so i had to get some other replacement.

today, i was telling my mom i was able to get four items for the two pairs of shorts she gave me.  yes, four for two!  a pair of shorts, two tank tops and a long sleeved shirt.

she looks at me funny.

nyahaha...  i am cheap...  ;"p

mind reader

i was thinking of sending two items...

i call the intended recipient and mentioned the first one...  tooooot!!!  someone just gave them one.

me:  'oh, that's good!  hmmm...  what do i replace it with?  what do you want?'

reply:  'what we want is a <product>...'

whoa!!!  that is the second item i was planning to send!

we're in tune...  yea!!!  : D


me to mom:  'that's 'itlog ni kuya' [kuya's egg]...'

mom:  'who's kuya?'

me:  'ahahaha...  <toot> was also like that!  i told her to get 'itlog ni kuya' and she asked who kuya is...'

mom:  'yes...  who is he?'

me:  ''itlog ni kuya' is a brand of eggs...  duck eggs, salted egg, organic...  from victoria, laguna...  it's supposed to be well-known...  or at least i thought it was well-known...  maybe it's not because you two don't know it...'

: }



me:  'what is it?'

dad:  'mocha...'

me:  'that's not mocha...  it looks like butter...'

mom, eating some:  'it's carrot...  or banana?'

i get a slice:  'it's not carrot...  more like orange...  or lemon...'

sister tries a bit:  'it's lemon...'

me:  'that's already two of us for lemon...'

mom:  'could be orange...'

me:  'maybe you could call the one who gave and ask what it is...'

; )


slight drizzle while on the road...  typhoon names cropped up...

me:  'what i find amusing is that there's this typhoon name that they had to change because of certain youtube videos...  as in, it was in the news they're skipping the name kanor because of that, imagine!'

friend:  'if you see those videos you'd understand why they did not want to use the name...'

me:  'yeah?  but how many people have seen those videos?'

friend:  'mang kanor is famous!'

me:  'he is?  how come i don't know him?'

friend grins this mischievous grin:  'well, to us guys, he's well-known...'

oh...  ok...  : }


getting off the car...

guy:  'should we bring an umbrella?'

me:  'let's bring yours...  mine's long; yours is short...'

the guy chuckles...

me:  'what?  oh...  ok...'

; p

not the same

me, eating french fries from a casual dining chain:  'their fries are not good...  try it...'

sister:  'i don't like...'

me:  'just taste it...'

sister:  'i'm full...'

me:  'just one piece...'

sister:  'you said it's not good and then you want me to eat it?'

me:  'you might find it delicious...  people have different tastes...  what might not be good to me may be good to you...'