what isn't there, you couldn't find

my sister was rushing to the office and asked me to kindly pick up the tissue that fell behind the computer.

ok.

so when i went upstairs, i got down on all fours and tried to find the tissue.  well, i couldn't see anything except the floor.  i tilted the bookshelf, nothing.  i peeked through the back, nothing.  i moved the table, nothing.  i lifted the laptop, the mousepad, the wrist rest, the modem, the router, the external drive, nothing!

then i thought maybe she meant my mom's netbook.  i checked under the table, nothing.  i moved the chair, nothing.  i lifted the netbook, the calendar, the organizers, the phones, the answering machine, nothing!

where on earth did that tissue fall?!  wherever, i thought we all could live with some litter in our lives so i dropped the search.

when my sister arrived, i asked her what sort of tissue she was asking me to get, is it a small piece, a roll, what?

well, my sister dear went:  'oh, i've gotten it.  i went back with an umbrella and  pushed it out.'

me:  'whaaat???!!!  you didn't even tell me!  i was down on all fours looking for said tissue!!!'

sister:  'aw, sorry.  maybe i should have left a small piece so you would have found something.'

eh?!

what could have been

mom telling dad about this stock she sold...

dad:  'how much did you earn?'

mom:  '<this much>...  but had i sold it earlier my yield would have been higher...'

uhm, it's the same old story...  ; )

desiring what you couldn't have

rainy morning...

i thought maybe it would be nice to have some hot choco...  well, there was hot choco and i felt i didn't want it really...

my thoughts shifted to champorado...  maybe 'twould be nice to have champorado...  well, there were ingredients for champorado and i didn't feel like going to the kitchen...

then lucky me pancit canton came to mind...  yes, 'twould be nice to have some lucky me instant noodles, the extra hot chili flavor...  ta-daaan...  there's none in my parents' pantry!  guess what, suddenly i was craving it oh sooo bad!!!

ugh!  that which is not available seems most desirable...

safe

sister:  'where's my shorts?  ooops... or should that be, 'where are my shorts?'?'

me:  'just say, 'i can't find my shorts!''

nyahaha...  toinks!!!  ; p

association

eating hopia...  siomai came to mind...

when i'm having siomai, hopia comes to mind...

y'know,
siomai love for you,
hopia love me, too.

; )

almost but not quite

i tell my mom the saleslady is pretty...

mom:  'her name's 'princess'...  wait, not 'princess,' 'queen'...  her name is 'queen'...'

close...  ; )

open-ended

a little boy was asking my dad for a basketball (he has given away quite a few)...

dad: 'i don't have any.  i don't always bring a ball when i'm here.'

boy: 'when are you going to have one again?'

dad: 'i haven't bought yet.  maybe next time.'

uh-oh...  i have a feeling the 'maybe' did not register with the little boy and he will be expecting a ball the next time he sees my dad.

a while later, another boy called out from the gate looking for my dad.  he, too, was asking for a basketball.  this time, it was my mom who was outside.

mom:  'we don't have any balls right now.  he hasn't bought yet.'

boy:  'when are you going to have one?'

mom:  'i don't know yet.  not yet sure when.'

aw...  kinda heart-breaking but maybe a better way to manage expectations.

no secrets

sister-in-law:  '<toot> sent me a friend request in facebook...  should i add him?'

me:  'yes...  oh...  you?'

sister-in-law:  'is it okay with you?'

me:  'of course...  why not?'

sister-in-law:  'there might be some things you don't want him to see...'

me:  'haha...  he's my friend in facebook...  he's not on my restricted list...'

the guy actually knows too much about me  ->  way too much!!!  things i'd never post in facebook i tell him...  he laughs at me and berates me but bottom line is he looks out for me...  it may not always show (i could be really stubborn at times) but i really am grateful...  :")

leave it out

i go to this diner and the owner is there...  the crew introduces us (i guess i've been dropping by the place rather frequently lately i've merited an introduction, haha)...

we were introduced just by first names and was i caught off-guard when the owner asked for my last name...  : O

me:  'ooops...  what's my last name?  hmmm...  is it <maiden surname> or <married surname>?  uhm, it's complicated...'

owner:  'oh...  so your status in facebook is 'it's complicated'?'

me:  'hehe...  no status...  and no surname...'

\m/

much ado about nothing

i received this 5-character message on my phone...

i tried to decipher what the abbreviation could stand for...  ' could not come up with any...

i looked at the keypad to see which ones could be typos...  nada...

ok, give up.  i forwarded it back to the sender asking what his text meant.

the reply?  well, he was driving and must have unintentionally pressed something...

deep inside

i posted some pics in facebook, among them one showing just me and this guy.  what do you know, a friend overseas asked whether he is 'the one.'

hahaha...  curious?  envious?  jealous?  ; p

well, i gave him a tip.  i told him if he sees someone on my timeline then that means he's not the one.  because if he were, he won't be on my timeline  ->  he'd be in my heart  <3

:")

i can hear you

my dad doesn't like it when we drive other people's vehicles (me, too, actually)...  well, this morning, by force of circumstance, i was supposed to register my friend's car.

i walked over to my parents' place to tell my mom i was leaving for that but i saw her with my dad.  uh-oh...  hold it, hold it...

i hovered around a bit and when i finally saw her alone, i softly told her i was going out to register my friend's car.  what do you know, as i spoke, my dad appeared from behind the cabinet and, of course, heard everything.  waaahhhh!!!

i immediately said bye then rushed out the door...  : }

stale

i excitedly tell my mom i bought stuff worth only around one hundred twenty five pesos (P125) from national bookstore and they gave me two free packs of breeze detergent (hahaha...  i looovvveee freebies...  shallow!).

my mom oh-so-nonchalantly replies, 'ah, yeah...  they gave me four yesterday...'

oh...  ok...

sieve

we tried a new route going someplace last week...  good...  : )

then now i tried it by myself...  uhm, i turned up all over...  : }

back in college, we used to drop off my mom at her office DAILY.  then one day, i was tasked to pick her up.  well, i made a wrong turn here, and there, and there...  : O

and that is the reason why i always have to have a lot of gas...

not my strong suit

on the phone...

friend:  'you know 'just give me a reason'?'

me:  'the one with, 'we're just bent not broken'?'

friend:  'we're not broken just bent...'

me:  'ooops, hehe...  sorry...  but it's the same message...  by pink?'

friend:  'yes...  pink...'

<blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah>

me:  'i like 'just like a pill'...'

friend:  'just give me a reason...'

me:  'hehe...  i mean, among pink's songs, it's 'just like a pill' i like...'

friend:  'just like...?'

me:  'just like a pill...  P, I, L, L...

♩ ♪  run just as fast as i can
to the middle of nowhere
to the middle of my frustrated fears
and i swear you're just like a pill
instead of making me better
you keep making me ill  ♫ ♬

you know that song?'

friend:  'i'll check it out...'

hmmm...  i wonder whether he really does not know or he simply wasn't able to recognize it from my singing...  ; p

mars and venus

eating ensaymada...  suddenly i chuckle...  remembered something...

so i was having ensaymada and, as is my wont, i put it on the table then pressed it flat with my palm.

friend:  'what are you doing?'

me:  'flattening it so it's easier to put in my mouth...'

ok...

my sister gave my friend an ensaymada as well but he didn't eat it right away.  so we were already in the living room when i saw him slapping his ensaymada.

me:  'aw...  are there ants?'

friend:  'no...  i'm just copying you...'

huh?!  nyahaha...  i press my bread flat gently, y'know...  i don't pound it all over and swish it around as if we're having some wrestling match...  ; )

a speck in the universe

two nights ago, my friend was watching basketball and he really wasn't able to concentrate on the game because, uhm, talkative me kept on sharing all these trivial, mundane, non-sensical stories...  : }

i did try to stop when i realized i could be disturbing him but he insisted i go ahead saying the game wasn't good anyway.

then last night, he was playing candy crush saga.  (he wanted to teach me but i wasn't interested.)  so there he was looking really serious (and funny, haha, well, at least to me.  imagine, big guy hunched in front of a laptop intently analyzing these columns of colorful candy onscreen.) and i thought maybe i could lighten things a bit.

me: 'water?'

<silence>

me: 'water, sprite, minute maid?'

<silence>

me: 'coffee, tea, sympathy?'

the guy just ignored me...  : }

my sister butted in, 'he is busy!'

yup, with candy crush.

i just find it so amusing that in the grand hierarchy of things, i seem to rank higher than basketball but lower than candy crush...  ; p

see where it gets you

for the longest time, i've been badgering my friend about her hazard lights, i.e., to have them fixed.  every single time, she replies with it used to work before.  as in, EVERY single time that is what she says.  and every single time, i counter with i don't care whether it was working before what matters to me is that it work now.  i tell her hazard lights are important when you park, when you're backing up, when you're stopping temporarily, etc.

(she makes me drive her car, btw  ->  even if i repeatedly tell her i don't like driving other people's vehicles.)

now, at long last, she tells me they're fixed.  i go, 'good...  you really need that when you park...'  ' know what, again she dropped me her 'it used to work before...' line.

aaarrrggghhh!!!

just that car get a flat, hah!  instead of having the tire vulcanized right away, i'll first spend a lot of time repeating to her, 'that tire was ok before...'

\m/

spouses vs. sweethearts

at a restaurant last night, my friend pointed to a couple at another table then asked, 'you think they're married?'

me:  'haha...  you're such a nosy guy...  anyway, we'll see when the bill comes...  if the woman pays, they're married...  if the guy, probably not...'

(ooops...  ' am so feudal...)

friend:  'maybe we can also find out depending on who is more attentive...'

me:  'what do you mean?'

friend:  'if it's the guy who slices food for the girl then he's probably still courting...'

me:  'nyeh!  i shelled shrimps for <toot> when he was still a suitor!'

friend:  'maybe you already liked him that time...'

me:  'i did but it's not that...  i'm good at shelling shrimps...  i poke the neck with fork, remove the head with spoon, then the tail, then the ones in the middle...  after that you can remove the whole shell...  QED...'

anyhow, i wonder what a good indicator of the marital bond would be...

otherwise...

friend watching basketball...  i was talking and talking and talking...  then i suddenly realized i could be disturbing him...

me:  'wait...  i'll just tell my stories later...  you watch first...'

friend:  'no...  just go ahead...'

me:  'later during commercial break...  you watch first...'

friend:  'no...  it's okay...'

me:  'i'll just resume later...  the game might be good...'

friend:  'the game is not good...'

oh...  hehe...  that's why...  ; )

better late ; )

been thinking of getting a petron value card but haven't gone around to it...  guess what, i changed my mom's ink cartridge and got entitled to a reward for using a genuine HP cartridge...  there were three choices...  i got the card...  : )

sometimes you don't get to buy something because you're meant to have it for free...  ; )

knowledge for knowledge's sake

i've cast my vote and i now have a purple nail on my right index finger.  i see others' fingers and their indelible ink looks just like a border around their nail.  mine looks like a manicure!!!  ugh!

anyway, sometime back i noticed on my yahoo philippines highlights these stories with the label 'purple thumb.'  first thing that came to mind was 'green thumb.'  and then i sort of wondered what purple thumb could be.  anyway, i didn't give it much thought.  daily i would see the label and eventually i realized that if i saw the label the story would be election-related.  that was all there was to it, however.

then one day, i was bed and it just suddenly occurred to me that 'purple thumb' referred to the indelible ink they put on your finger after you cast your vote.  wahaha...  what a late epiphany.  talk about slow.

the initial lack of knowledge didn't hamper me a bit.  the eventual learning was nice but i'd say it didn't really benefit me that much (maybe you could even change that to 'at all' if you discount looking like an ignoramus to those who know what it was).

i guess some things really are inconsequential, at least to certain people.

amsokuhne

at a diner...

staff to another:  'ma'am was also here yesterday...'

me:  'oh...  were you the one who assisted me yesterday?'

staff:  'yes, ma'am...'

me:  'hmmm...  the guy seemed taller...'

staff:  'that's sir <toot>, ma'am...  it was the two of us...'

me:  'oh...  i thought you took a bath, shrunk and got smaller...'

joke, joke, joke!!!  ; )

logic

hahaha...  i was late in paying my phone bill last month and now i receive a message offering me an increase in my plan's credit limit.  for years, i've been paying in advance and there was no such offer.  is this a case of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing or is this really the logic of business?

whatever, i actually intend to downgrade when i'm up for renewal.  i'm taking out my internet subscription.  there's free wifi all over now...  ; p

silent H ; )

me to nephew:  'are you going to <place> tomorrow?'

nephew:  'no.'

niece:  'you go there MWF?'

nephew:  'M-T.'

niece:  'monday, thursday?'

nephew:  'monday, thursday.'

hmmm...  is it just me or is there something not quite right with that?  when i was in school (a long, looong time ago, hehe), T was tuesday.  thursday was Th.

oh, well...  they understood each other and that is what matters...

my anda

today is the birthday of my late maternal grandmother, Avila Salem Rarela.  she passed away at 89 and would have been 104 today.

we lived very near her place and i saw her practically everyday.  i have so many fond (and funny) memories with her.

she loved movies and i grew up being her movie date.  i think i've watched enough movies to last me a lifetime because of her.  she's a dolphy fan, btw.

she had a regular supply of magazines (kislap, MOD, etc.) and i somehow honed my reading on them.  i remember i was reading liwayway (haha, ancient!) and there was 'george' and i still didn't know how to read it that time so i pronounced it as a three-syllable ge-or-ge.  someone corrected me and that is my first memory of being acquainted with george, hehe.

i was her sleeping companion whenever my grandpa slept over in the province.  when i was younger we'd sleep side by side on her bed.  when i got a little bigger, i slept on a bed beside hers.  then when i was already grown up, i'd sleep upstairs while she stayed downstairs.  leveling up with age...  ; )

i was her attentive listener.  she'd tell the same stories over and over again and i'd ask the same questions over and over again, haha.

i was her eager food taster and human sink-incinerator.  over-eager one time, i fully-consumed what i didn't know was something intended for arriving guests, aw!

i was her, uhm, negligent escort in las vegas.  i'm not really much for casinos and i somehow failed to keep an eye on her while she wandered away from machine to machine.  my mom, my brother, my uncle, my aunt and i were already on the verge of panic looking for her and thank god she found us, hehe.  she got a little scared, too, walking all around the noisy place looking for her companions but she recovered easily and was again joyfully dropping her coins (yup, that time you still used real coins) in the slots in no time...  ; )

i, together with my brother, was also her 'heater' one time.  we were at niagara falls and it was sooo cold so my brother and i walked really close to her to protect her from the cold (think open-the-basket cum group hug.  it must have looked like we were holding her hostage, hehe).  we even jogged around her hoping to give her some body heat, haha.

she liked to tease me about my hour-long showers.  she says i shampoo every single and littlest strand of hair on my body that's why i take so long.

she gets so amused whenever i squeal each time i see her smooth and flawless knees.  i have scars on my left knee yet i'm always in shorts while she was always in this calf-length dresses.  it was always a delight and a surprise for me to get a glimpse of her rarely-seen knees.

she liked this former boyfriend of mine and kept on asking about him long after we broke up.  i think she missed him more than i did, hehe.

come to think of it, all those times we spent together, i don't have a single memory of her scolding me ever.  i dunno whether i was just so good or she was just really patient.  or maybe i am just forgetful?  ; p

anyway, remembering my dear anda with much love and prayers...  <3<3<3

of all things

in the news:

thief who stole CCTV cameras caught...  the cameras were mounted on the ceiling and running...

file that under 'what were they thinking?!'

; p

all-knowing

phone call...

niece:  'tita, do you know when my reservation is for <place>?'

me:  'aw, no...  was i the one who made the reservation?'

niece:  'no...  i did...'

me:  'then how come you're asking me?'

niece:  'i've forgotten...  i'm thinking you might know...'

huh?!  super-aunt?!  ; )

wishful thinking ; p

my phone rings...

caller:  'did you call?'

me:  'no...  but i texted asking why you called...'

caller:  'you did not call?'

me:  'no...  didn't the number appear?'

caller:  'it did...'

me:  'then you call back...'

caller:  'i did...'

me:  'they didn't answer?'

caller:  'they did...  i don't know them...'

me:  'oh!  just because you don't know them you already thought it was me?'

caller:  'it was a residence...'

me:  'did my number appear?'

caller:  'no...'

me:  'they must just have pressed a wrong number...'

duh!

topless

cannot decide what to make the baby wear...

me:  'let her choose...  baby, choose...  whatever you touch, that's what you'll wear...'

then the baby touched my shirt...

again...  again...

me:  'baby, choose...  touch what you'd like to wear...'

again, the baby touched my shirt...

oh...  ok, ok...  i'll take it off and lend to you...  ; p

being good is good enough

friend kids i'm experiencing what you could refer to as 'temporary sanity.'  (nyahaha...  when it comes to matters of the heart, it's a no-brainer for me to be brainless...  : } )  he's offering to reward me for, uhm, being good.  positive reinforcement, haha...  ; )

i tell him for a reward to be effective, it has to be immediate.  since he can't give the reward right away, the effect would be diluted.

well, he drops me the line, 'being good is its own reward.'

oh...  does that mean no more goodies for being good?  aw!  ; )

meant for me

the other day, my sister was offering me goldilocks chiffon slice, my fave ♥.  i was full that time and i was going to a get-together later where i know there'd be food-a-plenty so i passed.

well, now at dinner time she was offering me a slice again.

me:  'you haven't eaten it?'

sister:  'we've eaten...  this one's really for you...  i bought it because i know you like it...'

aw...  sweet...  :")

watch me

caller:  'you want ice cream?'

me:  'no...  but i'm craving KFC krushers...  rockin' road...'

caller:  'i'll bring you...'

me:  'haha...  you're too far...'

caller:  'it's ok...  i'll go there...  you want pizza?'

me:  'no...  i've eaten...'

caller:  'i'll buy S&R pizza...  you want the cheese, right?'

me:  'i don't feel like eating pizza...'

caller:  'well...  i'll go there then you just watch me eat pizza...'

huh?!  nyahaha...  how sweet!  ; p