a simple life

friend:  'do you ever get sad?'

me:  'of course!  everyone does...  it's just the frequency that's different...'

friend:  'when was the last time you were sad?'

me:  'oh, just recently...  last wednesday and yesterday...'

friend:  'what happened wednesday and yesterday?'

me:  'i was in cavite wednesday...  yesterday i was at las piƱas...  both times i wasn't able to check in at foursquare...'

uhm...  i'm past the difficult round...  ;")

no entiende

visited a friend's former landlady...  they had a myna and it kept on saying hello.

me:  'good evening...'

landlady:  'that bird only says hello...  we don't teach it good mornings otherwise it's already nighttime and it will still say good morning...'

; p


friend:  'why are you laughing?'

me:  'i'm not laughing...  i was about to sneeze, i suppressed it...'

friend:  'why did you suppress it?'

me:  'i don't want to sneeze inside the car...  the germs will be confined inside...'

friend:  'cover it with your hands...'

me:  'i don't want germs on my hands...'

friend:  'use your dress...  sneeze inside your dress...'

me:  'i don't want the germs on my skin...'

: }

let them eat cake

sister:  'i've finished the cake you bought...'

me:  'good...  i buy cakes for consumption, not for storage...'

: )

early bird

checking out stuff at a department store...

me:  'oh...  you have that?  how much is it, P499.75?'

sales assistant:  'P599, ma'am...'

me:  'aw!  i got mine for P499...'

sales assistant:  'it used to be P499, ma'am...  it was marked up 16th...'

me:  'what do you mean 16th?  june 16th?'

sales assistant:  'yes, ma'am...'

me:  'wow!  i got lucky...  i saved P100...'

: D

keep it simple

friend:  'what do you want, blue, white or black?'

me:  'of course, blue!  aw, wait!  what sort of blue is that?  navy blue, powder blue, royal blue?'

friend:  'huh?!  what's that?!'

; )

do justice

when we were younger, my sister and i had songs, with matching choreography, we'd sing and mime to at my behest, hahaha.  i being the eldest and she being the youngest, she somehow just went with whatever big sister told her to do (not anymore, <sigh>).

the first and most notable of our songs was 'i'll never get over you getting over me'...

♩ ♪  as long as the stars shine down from the heavens
long as the rivers run to the sea
i'll never get over you getting over me  ♫ ♬

there were others...  'making love out of nothing at all,'

♩ ♪  making love out of nothing at all
out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all
out of nothing at all, out of nothing at all
out of nothing at all
making love out of nothing at all  ♫ ♬

the crying game,

♩ ♪  one day soon
i'm gonna tell the moon
about the crying game  ♫ ♬

we haven't had a new song in years.  i'd excitedly suggest one every once in a while but she's always not keen on the song so it just goes pfft.

anyway, this evening i told her, 'let 'flashlight' be our new song...'

sister:  'i don't know that song...'

me:  '♩ ♪  i got all i need when i got you and i
i look around me and see a sweet life  ♫ ♬'

sister:  'i don't like it...'

me:  'you don't like it?  it's like the song of the moment...  you hear it everywhere...

♩ ♪  kick-start my heart when you shine it in my eyes
can't lie, it's a sweet life
stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight
you're getting me, getting me through the night  ♫ ♬'

sister:  'maybe if it's a real singer singing i'll be able to appreciate it...'

ouch!  :"}

day and night

me:  'all day i've been hearing,

'♩ ♪  i got all i need when i got you and i  ♫ ♬'

sister:  'what's that?'

me:  'jessie j

'♩ ♪  i look around me and see a sweet life
i'm stuck in the dark but you're my... ♫ ♬'

sister:  'daylight?'

me:  'haha...  blank space?  starbucks lovers...  it's flashlight!'

; p

give it time

i usually wear big night shirts or tanks tops of cotton material to sleep but now i'm wearing this short shorts and spaghetti-strap satin top and my mom tells me it's nice and sexy (haha...  mom?!)...

me:  'this came from you...'

mom:  'from me???'

me:  'yes...  you got it from the box then you gave it to me...'

mom:  'i don't remember...'

haha...  nothing new...

i have an aunt who sends boxes from the U.S. with both used and new stuff inside.  my mom and another aunt open the boxes together and they get first dibs on the items.  every once in a while, my mom would see something that she thinks would suit me.

sometimes i like it.  sometimes i don't.

whenever i don't, my mom would try to sway me saying it's really nice, it would fit me well, it would look good on me, <blah-blah-blah>.

my no would remain a no.  (at my age, my taste in clothes is already pretty much set.  i like plain and muted tones.  if you see me wearing something bold and colorful, it's most likely something i did not choose myself.)

my mom, however, would still get the item saying i might change my mind later.  (hope springs eternal...  ; ) )

then months would pass and she'd see the dress i didn't take home (i really have clothes at my parents' house).  forgetting she was the one who got it, she'd tell me:  'you don't wear this...  why don't you give it away?'

me:  'okay, give it away...'

she's happy...  i'm happy...  ; )

guessing game

me pointing to food / traces on my sister's plate:  'you've eaten so much junk food for dessert!  you've had french fries, pringles, chex mix, selecta, magnum...'

dad who's also having magnum:  'is this junk food?'

me:  'well, okay, it's ice cream so maybe it's not junk food...'

dad:  'this is ice cream?'

me:  'yes...  what did you think it was?'

dad:  'what are those little pieces they put on top of cakes?'

me:  'icing?'

dad:  'no...  the one that kids eat...  it's soft like cotton...'

me:  'cotton candy?'

dad:  'no...  that white thing they put on chocolate as well...'

me:  'whipped cream?'

dad:  'no...  i know what it is, i just can't remember...'

mom:  'i know it, too...  it's on the tip of my tongue...  it starts with M...'

sister:  'meringue?'

mom:  'no...  it's on swiss miss...'

sister:  'marshmallow?'

mom and dad:  'yes!'

; )

as you say

my cousin and i like to order items from this online mall.  you earn points you can use for your purchases and they have a countdown sale where the price of certain items drops by 1% per hour.

points and countdown could get you items at a really good price and even for free if you have enough points.  (you earn basic points simply by logging in.  additional points you get by playing games that pop up every once in a while (during login or when you click merchandise on the site).  no skill required.  the games simply entail having to choose which of two boxes to open or whether or not to open a box (you can either gain or lose points by opening).)

we like to update each other on our purchases and she's been telling me that i've been getting countdown items at a still high price.  she says she herself would have waited for the price to drop some more before purchasing.

i tell her i put a value on my feelings.  i ask myself, if i wait for the price to drop some more and then someone else gets it ahead of me, will the money i saved or the points i retained give me as much joy as having the item itself?  if something i like will drop by this certain amount in 5 hours, will my suspense and anticipation and possible disappointment within the said 5 hours be worth the discount?

a 1% drop per hour means a P500 item will drop by P25 in 5 hours.  i'd rather pay the P25 or use more points than risk losing the item to someone else.

now she tells me she bought this item for P800.

me:  'huh?!  that's too high!  i've been seeing that in the countdown, the price drops to much lower.'

cousin:  'there were over a hundred views already, i was afraid someone else would get it...'

me:  'for all you know these people just keep on checking out the price every hour...  not everyone computes...'

cousin:  'hmmm...  yes...  but then it was originally P1,600 so i saved P800 already...'

me:  'yup...  but you should also take into consideration the item's track record...  it's been dropping so low so why snap it up so high?  you had a lot of points?'

cousin:  'just 300...  i added P500...'

me:  'that's too much!'

cousin:  'i was actually thinking whether i should wait for it to go lower but then i remembered what you said, 'will a P500 bill in front of me give me as much joy as having the item itself?''

oh...  you heeded me!

♩ ♪  i cried a tear  ♫ ♬



i call a restaurant...

me:  'hello...  i'd like to know what size your whole chocolate cake is...  how many inches?'

staff asks me to wait awhile then comes back to tell me:  '4 to 5 inches, ma'am...'

me:  'oh...  so your whole cake is a mini-cake?'

staff:  'no, ma'am...'

me:  'but it's 4 to 5 inches?'

staff:  'yes, ma'am...  but it's 12 slices...'

me:  '12 slices?!  that's so small!'

staff:  'no, ma'am...'

me:  'oh...  so you mean it's 12 4-inch cakes?  there are 12 pieces?'

staff:  'no, ma'am...  just one cake...'

me:  'and it's 4 inches?'

staff:  '4 to 5 inches, ma'am...'

me:  'why would you slice a 4-inch cake in 12 slices???  that's bite-size!  i've bought countless cakes, standard size is 8 inches, 8 to 10 slices...  yours is 4 and then 12 slices?!  that is very unusual...  did you measure?'

staff:  'oh!  sorry, ma'am...  it's 8 inches...'

; p

mother knows best

cousin:  'are you going to <place>?'

me:  'huh?  no...'

cousin:  'oh...  i thought you're going with <aunts>...'

me:  'aw, wait...  make that, 'i don't know'...  i'll have to check with my mom...'

last sunday, another cousin told me, 'so you're going to <province>...'

me:  'huh?  no...'

cousin:  '<cousin 2> said you are...'

me:  'oh...  maybe them...'

cousin:  'you won't be with them?'

me:  'no...'

mom butts in:  'you're going with us!'

me:  'oh, am i?'

mom:  'yes...'

me:  'wahehe...  sorry, i didn't know...'

momager...  ; )


talking schools...

me to cousin:  'have you heard that one?

in UP, math is hard.
in ateneo, english is hard.
in <school 3>, parking is hard.'

cousin's partner:  'i'm UP...  B.S. math...'

wow...  \m/

just a while earlier an aunt and i were talking and i had to pause to come up with how much 2 ft. by 3 ft. is if each square foot is P12.

define 'obtuse.'

uhm...  can i just spell?


forever and a day

cousin, referring to our 2-year-old grandson:  'he's so talkative!  it's as if you're talking to a parrot...'

true enough, the little boy kept on talking and talking and talking...  a parrot would have run out of stories...  the energizer bunny would have run out of batteries...  this boy can, just like celine dion's heart,

♩ ♪  go on and on  ♫ ♬

; )