cold comfort

i choked...

me:  'number!'

sister:  '18...'

me:  'wow!  it's different for a change...'

sister:  'it wasn't spontaneous...'

me:  'what do you mean?'

sister:  'i had to think first before giving a number...'

me:  'aw!  it doesn't count if it's like that!'

sister:  'so you won't complain...'

me:  'what do you mean?'

sister:  'had i not thought first i would have blurted out 10 again...  and then you'll complain that it's always 10...'

eh?  how about

♩ ♪  i'd rather hurt you honestly
than mislead you with a lie  ♫ ♬

?

\m/

out of sync

at mass earlier, there were a couple of things that were not quite in sync.

one of the songs sung by the choir did not match the lyrics projected onscreen.  it was the same song alright, but there were discrepancies in the projected lyrics and the actual words being sung.

and then a prayer being recited by the lector did not match the text on the projection board.  yes, it was the same prayer but the versions were different.

you hear one thing; you see another.  it doesn't feel right.

customer service

my mom sent me to chow king to buy siopao and lugaw...  guess what, when i placed my order, the cashier told me they don't have lugaw anymore.  she said it was phased out around three years ago (!)...

aw!  living under a rock...  sorry...  :"}

i asked whether i could use their phone.  i told her i didn't bring my phone and i'd like to ask my mom what she might want in place of the lugaw.

she asked the girl at the other counter whether they could let me use the phone.

the girl said no.

i asked whether they could make the call on my behalf.

she again asked the girl at the other counter whether they could call on my behalf.

the other girl just looked at her without saying a word.

to my delight, she took that as a yes and gave me a piece of paper on which to write my mom's number.

she went inside and came back saying my mom's order is now a dozen siopao instead of 10 and lomi instead of lugaw.

wow!  i was sooo thankful...  : D

a special shoutout to jeddy of chow king hi-top for going the extra mile to serve a customer...

thank you really very much...  may your tribe increase...  may all your efforts be rewarded...  God bless...  : )

the nerve

someone living in a house situated on a street, earlier appropriated as a personal, gated and roofed garage and later on replaced with a concrete house was asking me if it's okay with me if they park beneath our balcony (our balcony is within the perimeter of our property) effectively blocking recessed gates to our garage...

me, incredulous:  'you're really asking that?'

girl nods...

me:  'you're really asking?!'

girl looks at me as if wondering why i'm asking why she's asking...

me, pointing to parts of our lot on which we did not build a structure:  'we've given that, this, all the way to the side for you...  that's still not enough?!'

girl just looks at me...

me:  'ours is personal property...  yours is supposed to be public...'

girl just looks at me...

me:  'why don't you park in your garage?'

girl:  'it's hot...'

me:  'put a roof!  you've roofed the street before...  roof it again!'

girl:  'your vehicles are not there anyway...'

me:  'so everytime we arrive we'll call you?'

girl:  'i won't leave the car until 5...  4 p.m. i'll move it already...'

me:  'not all of us are 8 to 5...  we come and go at different times...  do i have to tell you whenever i have to go out?'

girl:  'not really...'

me:  'so if we arrive and you're not there...?'

girl:  'i'm easy to call...  just knock and i come out right away...'

me:  'when i knocked on your door before it took a while before you came out...  had i been alone i would not have bothered anymore...  but i was with, i can't recall anymore whether my aunts or a balikbayan guest, we really had to leave so i kept on knocking...'

girl:  'maybe i was in the CR...'

me:  'so what if you're in the CR again?'

girl:  'i'm just asking if it's okay with you...'

me:  'wow!  you're really asking?  are you serious?'

girl just looks at me...

me:  'we've given you an arm you still want a leg...  isn't that abuse already?'

girl:  'to me it's not abuse...'

me:  'oh, wow!  what's your threshold level for abuse?  must be over the top...  that part of the street could have been our communal parking...  it was appropriated as a garage later on replaced by a house, for rent!  now you don't even want to park in your garage and still want to extend?!'

girl:  'your vehicles leave anyway...'

wow!  wow!  wow!  why don't you go sleep on my bed as well whenever i leave the house?

pieces of a puzzle

en route to my destination earlier, i missed my usual turn and ended up passing through a gate which all along i thought was just for exiting vehicles...  good discovery, the gate was nearer!

then as i was approaching the parking lot which usually has been full, a parking attendant stopped me to give way to some other vehicle.  guess what, a slot opened up to my left!  had i not stopped, the car behind me would have gotten it.

everything happens for a reason and the reason is always for the best...  : )

generic

the family was in baguio over the weekend and we brought home a lot of foodstuff...

me to sister:  'where'd you get your crinkles?'

sister:  'le chef [at the manor at camp john hay]...'

me:  'that's le chef?'

sister:  'yes...'

me:  'how come it doesn't have a label?'
(her strawberry preserve from le chef had a label...)

sister:  'i dunno...'

me:  'hmmm...  i wonder whether it's good...  i'm thinking if it is you'd put your name on it...'

i tried it...

well, i've had countless crinkles...   this one was just ok...

think green

at the photocopying machine...

guy:  'how many copies of this do we need?'

me:  'just one...'

guy:  'i'll make it two...'

me:  'aw!  that's a waste of paper...'

guy:  'i might need another copy...'

me:  'what if you don't?  just have it photocopied when you already need it...  save the trees...'

think before you print...

remiss

assessor:  'i'll just charge you P200 for non-presentation of books...'

me:  'huh?!  i presented them to you...  here...'

assessor:  'yes but you have no payable so there will be no entry in the computer.  there has to be a payment so the record will be updated...'

me:  'if it's really zero can't they just enter zero?'

assessor:  'no...'

me:  'really?'

assessor:  'yes...  there has to be a payment...  otherwise there'd be no record in the computer that you came here...'

me:  'oh?!  tagging!  why is it designed that way?  wow!  hmmm...  ok...  can just bill me the lowest?'

assessor:  'that's already the lowest on my end...'

me:  'on your end?  so for others, it can still be lower?'

assessor:  'that really is the lowest already...'

me:  'okay...'

leaving the office, i could not seem to accept that i will be made to appear remiss when i was not...  i came back...

me:  'can you bill me for something else and not non-presentation?  i did present...'

assessor:  'that's the only item we can use...'

me:  'you sure?'

assessor:  'yes...'

me:  'aw!  okay...'

who on earth did requirements analysis for that system?!  how did it pass QA?!  ugh!

half body

called an online mall's customer service to inquire about this top with supposed bust measurement of 51.2 cm...

customer service representative:  'they usually have 1- to 2-inch difference, ma'am...'

me:  'yeah...  i saw the note...  but even then isn't 51.2 cm too small?  that's just one boob...  is this a doll dress?'

customer service representative:  'no, ma'am...'

me:  'it's also not children's clothes...  the model looks like a full grown woman to me...'

customer service representative:  'it's for ladies, ma'am...'

me:  'yeah...  could you please check with the seller whether it's really 51.2 cm?  that's just 20 inches...'

customer service representative checks with the seller...

ta-daaan!

'seller says there's been a mistake, ma'am...  that's supposed to be 51 x 2...'

me:  'see!  i told you 51's just one boob!  haha...'

why on earth did they list measurements like that?  i thought whole chest circumference was standard...  : }

well-meaning

long queue...

me to the girl in front of me:  'is he senior?  you don't have to wait in line...  just go straight to the counter and present your number...'

girl's companion:  'my hair's just gray but i'm not yet senior...'

me:  'aw!  i'm sorry...'

not all good intentions turn out well...  :"}

proximity perks

my mom asked me to buy almondine cookies, six canisters...

ok...

when i was about to leave, she went:  'make it eight instead of six...'

me:  'why not ten instead of eight?'

mom:  'ten?'

me:  'just kidding!  eight's fine...'

the additional two are for me...  eight for her; two for me...  that's just ok...  i live so close to her anyway...  i shall not want...  ;")

misattribution

i gave my niece and my nephew organic soaps...

my sister and i, on separate occasions, both noticed that my niece has gotten somewhat fairer...

and then my sister-in-law told me that my nephew's pimples appear to have lightened because of the soap i gave...

i was telling my other niece about the soaps and how effective they are when my nephew arrived.  expecting to elicit confirmation, i asked him whether the soaps really have lightened his pimples.

nephew:  'oh!  i'm applying medication on my face...  from the derma...'

me to other niece:  'hahaha...  erase!  erase!  there's some other factor!  disregard what i just told you...'

; p

worth remembering

a former officemate sent me a box of tea and a pack of chocolates.  i was surprised...  and so touched.

we worked together, on a daily basis, over a decade ago.  last time we saw each other was at least five years ago.

i really, really appreciate the gesture.

some yesterdays you'd rather leave behind...  some you keep with you long after they've passed...  <3

gamut

called customer service to inquire about the material of this dress i saw online...

they, in turn, asked the seller...

guess what, they told me the seller said they do not know the material of the dress...  all they know is that it is not cotton...

oh!  how informative...  ; )

look and see

wearing a shirt showing transport routes at the university of the philippines...

sister:  'did you make that?'

me:  'no...  i bought this...  look, the yellow line shows the route of the ikot...  the blue, the toki...  the red, katipunan...  the green, philcoa...'

sister:  'you follow that?'

me:  'no...  i just liked it because it's like a map...  you're going there, you can see it here...  where's this?  where's that?  you can check the shirt...  wait, how do i see if i'm wearing it?  there has to be a mirror...'

sister:  'you take it off...  check the map...  then put it back on...'

; )

not applicable

guy wearing a shirt that says:

'Only the handsome
can wear this.'

oh!  take it off then...  ; )

complicating the simple

my dress was unobtrusively hanging in my room when i noticed a loose thread... i brought it out to the laundry area and then tinkered with something else...

guess what, it rained! waaahhh!!! my dress got wet!!!

what on earth was i thinking?! i easily could have brought scissors in the room. why did i have to take the dress outside?! ugh!

note to self:
kiss -> keep it simple, sexy.

nyahaha! indulge me... my ready-to-be-worn dress just got wet... ;")

full circle

friend could not go online and requested my assistance in accessing her account...

me:  'what's the password?'

friend:  '<password>...'

i enter her supposed password...  ooops...

me:  'i can't get in...'

friend:  'try <password2>...'

i enter the second password...

me:  'that's not it...  what?'

friend:  'actually, i don't remember...'

me:  'nyeh!  let's recover your account...  we'll change the password...  what password do you want?'

friend:  '<password3>...'

me:  'maybe that's your password...  let's try it first...'

ta-daaan!!!  i got in!

uhm...  time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time...  ; p

beyond labels

at a gift shop...

me:  'ei, rikkaluma!  i've been seeing this online!'

saleslady:  'rilakkuma, ma'am...'

me:  'ooops...  hehe...  sorry...'

me:  'what is rilakkuma?  is it a bear, a bird, what?'

saleslady:  'rilakkuma is a bear, ma'am...'

me, pointing to an item labeled rilakkuma:  'how come this one has wings?'

saleslady:  'that's not rilakkuma, ma'am...  it's the brown that's rilakkuma...  the white is korilakkuma...  that bird is kiiroitori...'

me:  'aw!  sorry...  thanks for the info...'

anyway, a bird is a bird even if it's labeled a bear...  a good person is a good person even if others label him bad...  : )

happy face

talking about my dad's non-smiling pics...  as in, you have group shots and everyone's smiling except him...

dad:  'there's nothing funny, why should i laugh?'

mom quickly replied:  'we do!  even when there's nothing funny we smile...'

the camera is reason enough to smile...  actually, you don't need a reason to smile...  : )

let's wait awhile

10:07 a.m. i received SMS from my mom telling me the cable guys have called and will be coming over 'in a while.'  as agreed upon the previous night therefore, i went to my parents' house to be the one present when the guys arrive as my parents have to go someplace.

11:00 a.m.
12:00 noon
1:00 p.m.
2:00 p.m.
3:00 p.m.
4:00 p.m.

no cable guys...

i called my sister-in-law and asked whether she's going out.

she said not anymore.

i requested her to man my parents' house while i dash someplace near as the cable guys just might come or call.

so i was away for half an hour and in that half hour, that is when the guys arrived!

define 'in a while'...  : }

cookie monster

aunt tells me the conti's almondine cookies i said were good were indeed good...

me:  'oh!  so i told you?'

aunt:  'you didn't really tell me...  you posted in facebook...  you said you can finish it in one sitting...'

me:  'oh...  facebook...  haha...  yeah...  i can finish one canister in one sitting...'

aunt:  'maybe if you're hungry you really could...'

me:  'uhm...  even if i'm not hungry i could...'

;")