focus on the positive

facebook chat with my niece:

me:  hallo... am i disturbing you?  was the movie good?

niece:  no

me:  it wasn't good?!

niece:  the movie was good.  no, you are not disturbing me...

ooops... hahaha

not that far

i was on the phone with a high school batchmate yesterday.  he showed me around when i was in the U.S. last year.  i told him if he likes, i could in turn show him around this time.

he said he wants to go to boracay.

ooops... my offer covers only metro manila, haha.  i told him if it's boracay he'll have to bring a guy.

he chuckles, 'why guy?  should be a girl.'

'ooops, yup.  girl.  as long as it's not me.'

no out of town with guys for me. sigh...


i was struck by the reaction i got for a recommendation i made.  the other party immediately understood what i was saying and readily agreed that it should be done.  whoa!  i haven't had that in a looooooooong time!

for so long now, there i'd be, raising all these things that should not be skipped and the other party's reflex reaction would be to ignore, object and/or not do them at all.  i'd go into details to explain what it is we should do and why it should be done and still i would fail to get through.  aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh!!!

what's worse, the things i am raising are things that really should not be coming from me but from these people themselves who object to and ignore the action points!  hello!!!  this is supposed to be your lookout, you're not seeing it (!!!), given my previous assignments i am able to do the heads up for you and you're the ones who object?!  insane!!!

no matter how much lip service you pay about acting on the recommendations, the developments would show that certain things were not done.  the effects are there, in black and white, in actual disruptions.  if you are someone worth your salt, you would realize that these things were caused by certain inaction.

i've said so many times, if you do not understand the technical aspects of what i am saying then maybe the non-technical aspect you could comprehend, that is, it is not in my interest to delay anything.  i am onsite here!  i want to go home!  i want a successful activity otherwise we're going to schedule another attempt.  i don't want repeated attempts, more so unsuccessful ones.  they wreck my weekends, they eat up my time!

it's really nice talking to people who know what they should know for a change.  that was how it used to be.  i hope we can bring it back.

mi amor

the dude to my dudette
the homme to my femme
the smile on my lips
the joy in my heart

: )

if it's not broken, don't fix it

a month ago, i brought my car to a service center near my parents' place to have it checked.  no trouble actually.  it's just that i had a full load of passengers in the backseat one night and i heard a grating sound as if the bottom was scratching the ground.  this happened several times, i was afraid a hole might have been borne or something  : }

well, they raised the car, checked it (i looked as well), no scratches whatsoever.  what could that have been?

they checked under the hood.  everything seemed ok.

they test drove the car.  nothing.

i told them to fill the car and asked to ride with them.  three guys in the back seat, i on the passenger seat in front, another guy on the wheel.  we test drove again, over humps and around curves, sudden acceleration and quick stops.  still nothing.  they were kidding we were not heavy enough.  they said we should load a truck inside.  yeah, funny...

anyway, they checked the shocks.  they said the shocks are good.

they were telling me maybe my car is just not used to having passengers.  hmmm... true.  but then where did that sound come from?  how come there were no scratches?

i was already at the shop anyway, i asked them to check everything and replace whatever needs to be replaced.

they again checked under the hood.  they asked me when i last had my timing belt replaced.  i said i really don't know.  they replaced the timing belt and switched the tires.

a few days later, i started hearing a faint, high-pitched sound from the hood.  i'll be parking in my garage, i'd get off to open the gate and i'd hear it.  this does not happen all the time but it has happened several times.  i have not heard that sound before.

so today i brought the car to the shop again.  i told them my brother was saying it could be the fan belt.  they checked.  they said the fan belt is not aligned.  i go, 'weren't you the ones who fixed the car before?  no one else has touched it since.'

i don't go around tinkering with the car.  all i do is gas up and bring it to the car wash.  whenever i gas up, i request the attendant to check the oil, the power steering fluid, the brake fluid, etc.  i don't think he goes around tinkering with the fan belt.

anyway, the shop fixed the fan belt then turned over the car to me.  i drove off.  guess what, just a block away and i started hearing this loud, piercing sound.  whoa!  that was definitely waaaay beyond the faint, high-pitched sound that brought me to the car shop again.  i drove back.

this time, they said the belt is too loose.

eh?!  you're the one who just fixed it.  how come it is now worse?!  fix it well.  this is supposed to be a reputable car shop here. 

they fixed it again then told me if i hear a sound again then maybe it's the water pump.  oh, yeah?!  i don't want to wait to hear another sound before i replace the water pump.  i told them to replace it as a pre-emptive measure.

now the car seems ok again.  i hope nothing unusual crops up.  otherwise, i'm going someplace else.

my dad was telling me it's about time i replace my car.  i told him i'm actually saving up for a new one next year.  i was planning to get it on installment through bank financing.  guess what, he offered me a loan so i could buy in cash.  wiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!  : D

he told me to just tell him anytime.  gee, thanks.

actually, i prefer the year 2012.  dunno.  i just like the number.  my officemates, however, have been badgering me to buy a new one asap, i don't know why.  hmmm... hmmm... hmmm... two of them are waiting to snap up my vehicle the moment i put it up for sale.  aha!  so that's why?

well, they'll have to wait some more.  i'm really still happy with my car.  to me it's still ok.  i'm not really a car person.  as long as it's running then i'm fine with it, haha.

bouncing back

my best friend was telling me she asked the guy whether this was the first time i got mad at him.

she says the guy chuckled and said no.

haha... true.  we've gone through worse... and survived.

credit goes solely to him.  if it were up to me he would have been out of the picture the first time.  but then he knows how to handle my wrath (yup, that strong  : }).  and he knows how to creep back.

this recent one is nothing compared to the first.  we survived that one.  we're surviving this one as well.

what doesn't break you makes you stronger...

jumping into conclusions

i was on the phone with an old friend and i was trying to give a push to his much delayed action on this other girl.  we kept on parrying each other's arguments and the conversation ended in a stalemate, i think.  neither of us would concede  : }

after the call, my mom who was right beside me all along, chided me, "ang tiyaga mo naman!  tingin ko sa iyo may gusto 'yan..."  (you're so patient!  i think you're the one he likes...)


me:  "do you know who that was, mom?"

mom:  "no"

eh?!  hahaha...

the guy and i are DEFINITELY just friends.  no romantic angle whatsoever.

oh, moms...


i dreamt twice early this morning.  maybe more, but it's just these two i remember.  (i've read we dream several times during sleep, we just don't remember).

around 3 am, i woke up from a not so pleasant dream.  there was this stranger who was following me.  he wanted me to board his car.  hmmm... i think i know where that dream came from...

even if the dream was unpleasant, it didn't really bother me.  a little something someone did a few days back crossed my mind and it brought me so much joy, hahaha.  (nothing big... super trivial actually... i feel so silly feeling so happy about it.  yuck!)

i went back to sleep with a smile in my heart  : )

and then the second dream.  the guy whose action brought me so much joy appeared in this dream.  if i remember right, this is the first time i ever dreamt about him.

there were free tickets to a show.  i thought he was going to invite me but then it seemed like he was going to invite someone else.  ouch!

the dream did not really show him inviting another girl.  what it showed was him seated on a long table (not on a chair) side by side with this girl and they were holding the tickets.  i was just looking at them from not so far away, hurt and disappointed at the thought that he would invite her not me.  oh, heartache...  : }

i wonder why someone who gives me so much joy in my waking hours appears a heartbreaker in my dreams.  hmmm... hmmm... hmmm... not sure i should analyze.  i prefer to hold on to my joy...

PP vs PG

i was telling my officemate i'm so happy.

she asked who it is, PP or PG?

me:  huh?!  who's PP?

officemate:  Poocha, ang Pangit...

me:  haha... and PG?

officemate:  Poocha, ang Guwapo...

oh... the ugly one... yiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!  ; )

it matters when

we were trying to cull lessons from a totally unexpected event so there i was making these general recommendations.  guess what, this guy who was supposed to be on top of things but somehow faltered during the critical period kept on explaining himself.  eh?!  defensive, yo!  guilty much?  ; )

i resorted to prefixing my statements with, don't take it personally, nothing personal, and still the guy would go on to explain why he did or failed to do certain things.  i was a combination amused and annoyed.

so that is our framework, huh?!  i can do that.  game.  from general i shifted to specifics.  boy, did i touch a raw nerve.  the guy went on to say he actually did this, he actually said that.

really?!  when was this?  i was literally an arm's length away from that person that time. what time did you say that?

oh, this time.  oh, that time.

gee!  there was this certain period when action was most needed.  actions within this period would decide the direction the situation was going to take.  how come the times you're mentioning do not fall within that?

stop bandying about what you did or tried to do before or after the critical period.  the truth is, you failed to deliver.  test of mettle and you failed miserably.  someone else had to step in.  an unfortunate consequence was averted not because of you but in spite of you.  not everyone knows that.  but there are those who do.  at least a roomful of them, some now scattered all over the place.  deal with it.  learn from it.

angry me

yesterday, i was angrily recounting irresponsible actions by this fair-weather, absentee, long-distance species of a supposed top dog when the one i was talking to remarked, "galit na, nakangiti pa."  (mad but still smiling)

oooops... i've gotten that so many times before!  as in, there i'd be, boiling mad, and someone would point out that my tone is still so soft (c'mon!) and there still is a smile on my face.  ugh!  insane!

this quirk has almost cost me a leg, literally.  i was boarding the backseat of the car with my brother on the wheel and he thought i was already inside so he was going to drive on.  my left leg was actually still outside and it got caught under the tire.  i was yelling out, "bill, bill, naiipit paa ko." (you're squeezing my leg.)  still he was trying to drive on.  good thing he eventually stopped, not sure whether because of my pleas or because he thought there was something under the car.

there were tire marks from my ankle to the middle part of my leg.  fortunately, tires are round and the curve of the tire fit in to the angle of my leg.  my brother was telling me he did not realize my situation as he could still see me smiling from the mirror.  eh?!

i've even been told this quirk might have been contributory to the breakdown of my marriage.  (ouch!)  a friend of my mom's was telling me the hubby probably thought there was no issue as the magnitude of the things i was saying was not coming across given the tone of my voice.  my, my, my!

maybe when i'm mad, i should not express it face-to-face but rather just vent it out over the phone.  that way, the other party would not be confused by my facial expression.

but then i have this habit of starting a phone conversation with a greeting.  i'd commence with "good morning," "good afternoon," or "good evening" and then 'twill be followed by a rant, hahaha.  crazy!

maybe next time i should just vent out in e-mail...

ugly not

my officemate was asking who the source of my joy was.

i replied i am not going to tell.

officemate:  'tell me, tell me.  promise, i'm not going to say he's ugly.'

huh?!  hahahaha... this one's good-looking!  for a change... LOL!


i was at my parents' place last night.  i was lazing around on the sofa when my niece blurted out, 'you're smiling by yourself, tita...'

i went, 'was i?!'

my niece said yes, mimicked my smile, ribbed me about it and then amusedly asked for the reason for my smile.

hmmm... honestly, i wasn't aware i was smiling.  i came up with something about taking only so many muscles to smile while it takes much more to frown.  i told her you get less wrinkles smiling than frowning.

she pointed to her forehead and asked, 'wrinkles like this?'

i told her those are pimples (ooops!) on her forehead not wrinkles.

she didn't know what wrinkles were!  oh, the blessings of youth.  i therefore explained.

anyway, i tried to recall what it was on my mind that time that could have triggered a smile.  well, the song two less lonely people in the world crossed my mind that time:

♪  in my life where everything was wrong

something finally went right

now there's two less lonely people

in the world tonight  ♫

i guess it brought a smile in my heart which crept up to my face, haha.

i dunno but i've just been really happy lately.  (nope, i don't have a boyfriend yet.)  simple things have been bringing me so much joy.  out of proportion, actually.  oh, well, happy state.  i won't complain... : )