how many times

waiter:  'what sides do you want, ma'am?  onion rings, fries or fruits?'

me to friend:  'you choose...'

friend:  'what do you want?'

me:  'they don't have what i want so just be the one to choose...'

friend:  'you want fries, right?'

me:  'choose what you want...'

friend:  'you don't like fruits?'

me:  'get what you want...'

friend:  'onion rings?'

me:  'up to you...'

friend:  'what do you want?'

me:  'gggaaaahhhhh!!!  i told you to be the one to choose, stop asking me!!!'

friend to server:  'oh!  she's angry already...  okay, okay, onion rings...'

\m/

mine

my sister made sandwiches in the sandwich maker...

me:  'wow, they smell so good!  ugh!  i'll get fat again!  i've eaten rice and then i'll have bread...'

i suddenly chuckled at what i said...  she made the sandwiches for herself...  why am i including myself in the equation?

;")

what a question

sister:  'there are so many big christmas decors at our office...  life-size...  the santas, they're bigger than me!'

me:  'aw, you should have told me earlier...  i could have dropped by...'

sister:  'you drop by tomorrow...'

me:  'i won't be in the area tomorrow...'

sister:  'some other day...'

me:  'i dunno yet when i'll be in the vicinity...  you knew i was there...  you should have told me...'

sister:  'you didn't ask...'

me:  'huh?!  who on earth goes around asking whether there are life-size decors in one's office???'

\m/

overreaction

me to guard:  'did a senior pass here?'

guard:  'male or female?'

me:  'female...  here she is...'
i show him a pic of my mom on my phone...

guard to guy:  'check the CCTV...'

guy to me:  'what did she do to you, ma'am?'

me:  'huh?!  no need for the CCTV...  she's my mom...  she didn't do anything...  i dropped her off in front before parking and now i don't know which entrance she used so i'm asking...'

boy, that building is secure!  ; )

polka dots

attending a themed party...

mom tries on a new top and calls me:  'is this ok for the polka dot party?'

me:  'those are not circles, mom...'

mom points to tiny dots here and there in the blouse's general design:  'these are dots, right?'

me:  'that's stretching!'

mom pulls at her top:  'stretching?'

me:  'you're stretching the definition of polka dots...'

; p