i was on the phone when i saw one of my officemates approach our filing cabinet to tape my name on the uppermost drawer.  suddenly, i had to interrupt the conversation.  he was going to label the drawer boss cynthia.  eh?!

all the other drawers just had their first names on it, how come mine had a prefix?

i told him to remove the boss and just tape cynthia.

he complied, scratching his head.

when i resumed talking on the phone, my caller asked what happened.  i told him and he chuckled.

i remember one christmas i received monogrammed pens from another officemate.  he gave the group monogrammed items with just the nicknames engraved.  mine, however, had as engraving, again, boss cynthia  : }

actually, i really just prefer to be called cynthia.  i tell everyone this but there are very few who comply.  i get ma'am cynthia, miss cynthia, ate cynthia, boss cynthia.  there are also those who call me by my initials:  the maiden one, CM or the married one, CMJ.

i'm thinking now i myself don't call my own bosses just by their first name.  the immediate one i call ma'am (first name); the next one, boss (nickname); the second highest, simply ma'am and the topmost, sir.  it's not really something i devised on my end.  it's just that that's how everyone else called them so i just followed the herd.

plus, they never really told me to call them by anything else.  but i'm thinking now if ever they did i'd have no problem complying.  if only my officemates were the same.  then i won't have to interrupt my phone calls...  ; )


i was rushing something through supposed lunch break.  just minutes (!) earlier, i was given a deadline which if i didn't meet would mean at least a month's delay in one of my projects.  i told my staff not to disturb me unless the building is on fire.

so it was lunch break and everyone was out  (we're not supposed to eat in our new room anymore  : })  and one of the phones kept on ringing.

i walked over, picked it up and ended up talking to someone who had the most basic of queries and whose concerns did not even fall under my office.  oh, so precious time... : }

in addition to that, a couple of people important to me (one officially; the other, personally) called.  of course i talked to them  : )

anyway, i was able to finish the required documents.  but then, it needed not just my signature but the initials and signatures of three of my bosses' as well.  instead of giving it to our messenger therefore, i decided to route it myself.

i was going to do a lot of hurried walking so i changed into my preferred footwear.  that means this spiky-soled supposedly therapeutic footwear, not at all business-looking, which i change into whenever i could.  i've been buying the type for years.  i'd wear out a pair then replace it with the same type.  i own several which i wear whenever i think i can get away with it  (read that:  i'm walking to and from our building and the parking lot; i'm with people i'm at home with; i'm with people i couldn't care less about, haha; i'm going someplace where no one knows me).

so i get to the other building but my boss was not anymore in her room.  she was already in a meeting i, too, was supposed to attend.  ooops, i didn't have time for that.  i went in, obtained her initials, then rushed out.

she told me that our boss is also not in her room but in the next building attending a conference.  uh-oh.  i rush there then text her that i urgently need her signature.  she does not respond.  i had to go inside.  with my footwear?!  good thing i saw someone i knew and borrowed hers for a while.  ugh!  anyway, i got the signature.  good.

now the third and last signature, our big boss's.  guess what, she was seated at the stage facing all the conference attendees.  waaah!!!  i had to change footwear again.  i saw another one i knew, and went borrowing again.  twice from different persons in a matter of minutes!  yuck!  i should just have stuck to my heels.  anyway, i got the final signature.

i was able to submit the documents before cut-off.  my project's timetable will not move.  whew!


i was in a meeting this afternoon.  one of the attendees was telling another one of the attendees that she didn't realize she was pregnant the prevous time they met.

the preggy lady said when she was not yet pregnant, there were those who thought she was.  and now that she is, there are those who think those are just love handles protruding from her belly.

i shared with them an embarrassingly funny experience i had re being mistaken for pregnant.  the hubby and i  didn't go to this market for a while and when we came back, one of the stall owners happily greeted me with, 'oh, so you've given birth!'

huh?!  i was never pregnant...  : }

being seen

i've so many times transferred offices:  to this wing, to that floor, to this building.  in all those transfers, i was the only one being transferred  ->  i'd transfer because i'll be taking on a new work assignment.

well, in this my latest transfer, i retained the assignment but had to physically transfer my office (stuff and staff), partly to another building, partly to another floor in the same building.  logistical and physical hardship  : }

the good part, however, is that the transfer gave us the opportunity to start afresh.  our new offices are, you could say nicer, but muuuch smaller.  we were forced to prioritize.  we were forced to sort our stuff.  which should we bring?  leave behind?  archive?  shred?  throw away?

i've previously held office in the main transfer location for more than six years.  the office has floor-to-ceiling glass walls; it has glass doors.  you had no privacy.  i was used to that then.  but then for almost four years now, i've been holding office in opaque-walled spaces.  you can sit this way and that, take off your coat if you feel like it, walk around in comfy footwear not necessarily matching your outfit and pretty much no one would see you.  now i have to unlearn those habits.  people could walk by anytime, could see you through the glass walls anytime.

it called to mind the One Above.  you cannot really hide anything from Him.  i hope i've been living my life in such a way that it could withstand His scrutiny.

yellow teeth

i have yellowish teeth  : }

no, i don't smoke, never did.  from as far back as i can remember, i've never really had white teeth.  they've always been somewhat yellow  : }

years back, i raised it with my dentist and he said my teeth are actually good teeth.  they're supposed to be strong.  hmmm... i don't have a single false tooth.  yup, maybe they're strong alright.

anyway, whenever i see someone with really nice, white teeth, i sort of wish i, too, had teeth as white.  but then i don't really want to undergo any treatments.  i am big on all-natural.  then last saturday, i noticed colgate advanced whitening in the supermarket shelves.  hmmm... toothpaste falls under natural to me.  i immediately got a tube.  it touts whiter teeth in 14 days.  we'll see...


i was buying two pieces of the same item.  upon payment, the vendor said she doesn't have enough change and asked whether i have a smaller bill.

i checked.  i had small bills enough only for one item.  i told the vendor i'll buy just one piece then.

suddenly, she said she'll check whether she could find enough change.  she so quickly did.

i got to buy two pieces after all.

go for it

someone sought my advice (?!) on a heart matter.  my two cents was simple:

you meet so many people in a day, you meet so many people in your life. but of all those people, there are only a handful, fewer even, who bring a smile to your heart. that is special. unless you're going to step on someone else's toes, that is something worth pursuing...


i bought two pairs of house shorts on sale last night.  price each was supposedly P69.75  [  yup!!!  i LOVE it!!!  : )  ]  when the cashier scanned them, however, price that came out was only P6.97 each.  i pointed it out and they had to call the manager to do an override.  i was delayed and holding up the line so i told the cashier i'll just forego the shorts.  she said they'll still need the manager to cancel.  ooops, ok.  i'll just take the items then.

sometimes being good has its inconveniences...

it's you

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
yours is the text i get up for
yours is the mail i wait for
yours is the call i rush for
yours is the love i long for
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

the right combination

it used to be i could but i did not.  well, actually, yup, sometimes i did but not really everytime i wanted to.

now i'm told i still could but i think i really should not so i don't.

i hope soon 'twill get to i can and i'd think it's okay to and i'd love to...

not old

someone from one of our field offices dropped by the office this afternoon. it was our first time to meet each other. after we discussed her concerns, she asked, pointing to the addressee on their letter, whether it was me.

i said yes.

she then went, 'oh... so you're young... i was expecting someone old...'

huh?! me, young?! wowee! that was a good cap to a tiring workday.. ; )


i watched my second movie for the year last night. if i'm not mistaken, i saw only three movies the whole of last year. it's only january and i've already seen two. maybe there'll be more movies for me this year? we'll see...

last night's movie was Avatar. it was in 3D. my friends and i watched it on special la-z-boy-type seats. nice : )

i was perfectly fine practically the whole length of the movie, that is, until the last few minutes. nearing the end, tears suddenly welled in my eyes and started to flow. ugh! i'm probably the only viewer who cried in that movie. the lead undergoing transformation and turning his back on everything he was and everything he had to be with the one he loved touched me so.

i had a similar experience in the first movie i watched this year, I Love You, Goodbye. i was ok in the first part of the movie, that is, until the lead uttered the line, "Darating din ang lalaking magmamahal sa 'yo the way you deserve to be loved..." ooops, suddenly, my tear ducts opened sooo wide and there i was with tears, tears, tears. and the flow did not stop until the latter part of the movie. i used up not just my tissue but my best friend's as well, imagine! my eyes were swollen!

following day, my officemates noticed it and i explained i was crying for probably a good half of the movie. they were surprised. you have these ads on TV showing viewer reaction as they come out of the theater and they were saying they did not hear anyone say the movie was a tear-jerker. hmmm... i suppose it's really not. i was with a friend who cries easily and she did not really shed a lot of tears. mine, on the other hand, was really copious. this scene and that, this line and that, kept on piercing my heart : }

two movies so far, both have made me cry. i have just seen the trailer for Paano na Kaya. one line caught my attention, "Sana minsan makita mo rin ako... kasi ako, ang nakikita ko, ikaw lang. " ugh! this has the potential of opening another floodgate of tears. maybe i should steer clear of that movie.

my friends and i have agreed to watch Alice in Wonderland on Imax when it hits the theaters. the mad hatter, the cheshire cat... i wonder whether there's anything there that would again make me cry...

candle for a friend

i pray a lot.  but i don't really do some of the things a lot of catholics do.  i don't touch or caress images; i don't light candles.  this time, however, i was requested to light a candle for a friend's departed friend.  i thought it would be easy.  i wasn't quite right.

i usually see this candle racks inside churches.  but in the church where i attend mass, i couldn't find it anywhere inside.  i checked outside, circled the perimeter, and found it under one of the trees.  hmmm... i suppose it was placed there because the church is air-conditioned.

there were candles but there was nothing to light them with.  i went to the parish office to borrow a lighter.  no one had any.  i asked for a match, they told me to ask from one of the church hands.  the guy gave me a box full of match sticks.

i went back to the rack and lighted and lighted and lighted but the wind kept on blowing out every single flame i started.  i used up the whole match box.

i was standing there sad and frustrated when a soldier passed.  i asked whether he has a lighter.  he said he'll ask his comrade.  was i surprised and so happy when he did return, lighter in hand.  he assisted me in lighting the candle.  and finally we got a good flame which lasted through my short prayer.

may my friend's departed friend for which the candle was lighted rest in peace...

what matters

my officemate was telling some other officemate that my crushes are ugly.

me:  'huh?!  are they ugly???'

the reply was, 'yesss!!!'

me:  'no, they're not!'

officemate, emphatic:  'they are ugly!'

me:  'hmmm... maybe to you but to my heart they're good-looking...'

and that is what matters...

color facebook status

i was scrolling down my home in facebook when i saw a cousin's status update:  black.  i commented, 'what?'

farther down, i saw another cousin's status update:  white.  i thought she was referring to the dress code for my aunt's birthday party tomorrow.

scrolling some more, another cousin had 'tan.'  i thought he was referring to skin tone after swimming.  i liked it.

and then another cousin had 'grey.'  hmmm... what is going on?

these relatives are far from each other.  one is in singapore, another in italy, one in california, another in new zealand.  and not all of them know each other.  how come they all have color status updates???

and then i receive a message from the cousin in singapore.  she said you're supposed to post in facebook today the color of your bra.  oh, so that's what it is.  i joined in and amusedly posted 'beige.'

later i learn from my brother that it's supposed to be for breast cancer awareness.  hmmm... sadly amusing / amusingly sad...

it's complicated

i saw one of our wedding sponsors today. she asked about the hubby.

i said we've parted ways.

she couldn't believe it. she kept on asking me for his number. she said she's going to patch us up.

sigh... it's not that simple...

year-end blogs

i noticed that my last blog for last year was on the 14th of december… hmmm… i know there were other things i wanted to blog about after that but i never got around to it.  i’ll try to recollect now…


december 19

i attended our high school batch christmas party.  i would have showed up with two of my closest batchmates but then one was not feeling well (too many recent parties/late nights and an out-of-town trip the following day) and the other had work.  i therefore showed up alone.

earlier, my best friend had given me the payment for her ticket.  i told her if she’s not attending then she need not pay.  she said she’s been told present or not she has to pay and if she does not, her prize won’t be given in case she wins in the raffle.

i chuckled saying she doesn’t need the prize.  anyway, upon arrival at the venue, i immediately turned over her payment to the treasurer.

guess what, she won in the raffle!  i was sooo happy just hearing it from a distance and then i was called to claim the prize on her behalf.  oh, ok.

later in the night, however, there were some statements, on the mic, about prizes supposedly subject to forfeiture in case the winner is not present.  and then someone approached me asking whether it would be okay to return my best friend’s prize.  oooops… ok.  i handed back the prize.

they raffled it off again.

guess what!  i won!  whoa!  i happily claimed it and later gave it to my best friend.

if it’s really for you, others could take it but in the end, it will still return to you… : )


december 26

this guy supposedly does not have a date for new year and a friend was asking whether i’d be willing to go out with him on said date.


sorry but

1.  i don’t go out with guys on special occasions.  the guy or others might think he’s the special someone and i don’t want that…

2.  i’m not someone you go out with just because you don’t have anyone else to go out with.  you don’t settle for me… you settle with me  ->  happily… ever after… : )


december 28

my officemates wanted to eat out.  ok.

they asked me where i wanted to go.  i said they be the one to choose the place.

guess what, they chose shabu-shabu.  waaah!!!

i don’t understand.  me, when i eat out, i just want to sit down and eat.  others, they want to have some sort of participation in the food preparation.

in my former office, they liked to market.  as in, we’ve gone to these eating places where we first have to walk around to pick the ingredients then have the dishes cooked.

this shabu-shabu, they give you a set of ingredients and you cook it yourself.  ugh!  cooking is definitely not one of my strengths.  nor is it something i am fond of.  (even boiling an  egg i could mess up  : })  plus i don’t like it when there’s steam all around the table.

next time someone asks where i’d like to eat, i’d still tell them to choose the place BUT with the additional request that it not be dampa- or shabu-shabu style…


december 29

for some reason, i suddenly had this craving for ice cream cake.  i therefore decided to get one for the new year.  and then a box was sent to my office.  it was from my boss... and it contained ice cream cake!!!  imagine!  i never even told anyone i wanted ice cream cake.  my officemates and i immediately finished it off.  i am sooo happy... and sooo thankful...  : )


december 30

i was going to buy bailey’s for the new year.  i, however, wasn’t able to get it from the supermarket where i regularly shop because just as i was about to pick it up, i received a message from my aunt telling me that they’re done (with their movie date) and will already be waiting for me at the usual meeting place.

from there, we proceeded to another mall.  guess what.  at ‘my’ supermarket, bailey’s was P788 per bottle.  at the supermarket in this mall, it was P742, with a free christmas ice tray to boot.  whoa!  what a big price difference.  i checked it, it really looked like genuine bailey’s, so i bought it.

i wonder what other items i’ve been paying for at a much higher price at the supermarket i frequent…  : }


december 31

i was telling my mom i’m just going to go out to buy cake and was asking whether she wanted something picked up from the supermarket.

her reply:  “ganyan ka na???”

ooops, hahaha… i was wearing shorts and a printed shirt, no b _ _.  she didn’t look pleased.

i said, "mag - ba - b _ _" then went upstairs to look decent.  i changed into pants as well.

anyway, among the things my mom asked me to buy was dahon ng sibuyas.  i had no idea what it looked like so there i was at the supermarket reading one-by-one the labels on the green, leafy stuff.  and then i got impatient and decided to just ask.  guess what, when i asked the shelf filler which of the items was dahon ng sibuyas, the shopper to my right immediately pointed out to the item right in front of me!  whoa!  i stopped reading just right before that item!

1.  sometimes you’re so close and that’s when you give up…

2.  if you don’t know what you’re looking for, it could be right in front of you and you wouldn’t recognize it…


i received a lot of greetings during the holiday season.  every single one is appreciated and every single one holds a certain meaning.  there is, however, one greeter whose greeting made my new year feel complete.  and that is when i confirmed that he, indeed, is the guy dearest to my heart at this point, for quite sometime now, actually.

true, there are those whose words and actions make me feel excited, and giddy, and overjoyed, and flattered but placed side-by-side with the feelings that surface when he does the simplest things, i realize that when it comes to love, he occupies the top spot.

he may not be the best... he may not be the most deserving... but he is the one my heart wants most.

too bad we cannot be.  but i'm happy enough that we are friends.  i remain hopeful that down the road, sooner rather than later, i will find someone who could be more than that.  and then my happiness will be complete...