ordered bread and cake...

at the table, sister kept on pushing the cake toward me...

me:  'let it remain there...'

sister:  'put it near you...  people might think i'm the one eating everything...'

me:  'haha...  that crossed your mind?!'

for all you know,

'what do you think of me?!'

'i don't even think of you!'

you are not the center of the universe...
the world does not revolve around you...

; p


called this agency in compliance with instructions i was given earlier...

employee:  'no report yet, ma'am...'

me:  'ok...  so when do i call again?'

employee:  'these things don't get completed just like that, ma'am...'

me:  'uh-huh...  so when do you want me to call again?'

employee:  'well, these things are not finished in a flash...'

me:  'i'm not rushing you...  take as long as you need...'

employee:  'actually sometimes they take months...'

me:  'ok...  so you want me to call again after six months?'

employee chuckles:  'that's too long!'

me:  'haha...  when do i call again then?'

employee:  'i don't really know when it will be done.  sometimes they take long...'

me:  'as i said, i'm not rushing you...  the only reason i called was because i was told by the one who received the papers to call you after a month...  i gave an allowance and called after one month and one week...  when i called, that was a friday, you told me to call again monday...  i again gave an allowance so instead of monday i called today, friday...  now i want to know when you want me to call again...'

employee:  'oh!  i thought you were following up, ma'am...  a lot do...'

me:  'i'm not...'

employee:  'some file and then call just after three days...  they want it right away...'

me:  'i don't...  i'm not gonna use it...  i'm just complying with your instructions that's why i called...  if you tell me not to call again, that's fine with me, i won't call...'

employee:  'no...  do call and call to check, ma'am...'

me:  'what is 'call and call'?'

employee:  'call and call...  to follow up...'

me:  'yes...  but what do you mean when you say 'call and call'?  how often is that?'

employee:  'up to you...'

me:  'hehe...  that's too arbitrary...  let's make it systematic...  monthly, is that okay?'

employee:  'okay, ma'am...  monthly...'

vague no more...  : )

talking points

someone sort of chiding me for not informing this person about certain things...

<toot>:  'you talk but you don't update him.  he didn't even know that <relative> is already married.  he didn't know that she already has a child.

i told him i was talking to <toot2> and he goes, 'who's <toot2>?'

i said, '<relative>'s husband.'

he was surprised:  '<relative>'s already married?!'

he didn't know!  you didn't tell him.'

me:  'we don't talk about those things...'

<toot>:  'what do you talk about?'

me:  'what do we talk about?  hmmm...  all sorts of things...  matters of no import, hahaha...  actually we just quarrel in viber...  haha...  yup, that's it...  we just argue and quarrel in viber...'

sour...  ; p

simple solution

me:  'the dress mom gave is a bit tight...'

sister:  'then slim down...'

me:  'nyeh!  why don't i just not wear it?  just give it away!'

don't complicate the simple...


at the bank...  my queue number flashed onscreen so i approached the teller...

ooops...  there's a senior citizen transacting...

i went back to my seat...

suddenly three more seniors appeared behind the first...

hahaha...  no prob...

and then the teller came out of his cubicle to get something...  he passed near my seat and apologized for the delay...

me:  'it's okay...  i'll get old, too...'

besides, age before beauty...  ;"p

ordered and delivered

giving my sister-in-law a dress...

sister-in-law:  'weren't you wearing this yesterday?'

me:  'no...  it's just similar...'

sister-in-law:  'i thought this was what you were wearing yesterday...'

me:  'why would i give you something i just wore???  that's brand new...  that one has a hood; mine has none.  that one's three-fourths; mine's short sleeves...  i ordered it for you because you said before you liked my dress...'

verbalize to materialize...  : )

reel and real

friend taking my pic...

friend:  'include this...'

me:  'don't...  i don't like their french toast...'

friend:  'not even in pictures?!'

me:  'haha...  okay, okay...  put it here...'

just because something is on my plate in a pic does not mean i actually ate it...  unless, of course, it's one of my faves, in which case, i probably ate so much more than what is shown in the pic...  ;")

morning babble

driving my niece to school 7 a.m. on a weekend. she was sleepy and reclined the seat a bit.

me: 'recline it all the way... it's more restful when you're supine... you know 'supine'? S, U, P, I, N, E... horizontal ... you're on your back...'

niece adjusts her seat then chuckles: 'supine... i'm so fine...'

me: 'haha... yup... the body is more rested when you're flat on your back... you know 'rest in peace'? they're supine; they're resting; they're so fine.'

wahaha... the things that come out of my mouth when i wake up early... ;"p


wanted to greet someone on the last minute of his birthday...  i set an alarm five minutes before midnight in his timezone...  i'd just wait out the three-minute interval before 11:59 to be sure...

well, 'to be sure,' my foot!  just as the alarm sounded, i heard a courier calling out my name!  waaahhh!!!

i received the delivery and missed 11:59...

some timings are not perfect...  ; }

do you

sister asking about this blouse...

sister:  'is this nice?'

me:  'we have different tastes...'

sister:  'it's not your type?'

me:  'it's not my type...'

sister:  'it's not your type but it's nice?'

me:  'it's not my type...  that's it...'

sister:  'is it awful?'

me:  'hahaha!  i'm trying to be diplomatic, you're pushing me!  you should be confident of your own tastes!  do you like the clothes i wear?  no!  do i take them off?  no!'


cold cut

nephew walks over to the dining area...

nephew: 'do you have sweets?'

me: 'there's pizza... but it's not sweet...'

nephew: 'where?'

me: 'on that big plate...'

he raises the cover...

nephew: 'can i have this?'

me: 'of course!'

i walk over to the toaster...

me: 'heat it...'

whoa! too late! he's already three-fourths through the slice and about ready to go home... : O

boys... : }

love story

asked an aunt whether she knew love story by taylor swift...

she starts humming:

♩ ♪  it's a love story
baby, just say yes  ♫ ♬

me:  'wow!  you know it!'
( she's a senior citizen  ->  but she doesn't look like one...  : ) )

aunt:  'there are two love storys...  that one and the one by andy williams...'

then she hums:

♩ ♪  where do i begin
to tell the story
of how great a love can be  ♫ ♬

me:  'you're good, auntie, huh!  old and new you know...'

aunt:  'so why did you ask?'

me:  'i was telling [sister] taylor's love story is my song for her:

♩ ♪  we were both young
when i first saw you  ♫ ♬'

; )

first things first

sister bought a different flavor of this ice cream we like...

me:  'this is not good...'

sister:  'why?  what's good?'

me:  'they're known for salted caramel...'

sister:  'yes...  but it can't always be salted caramel...  what else do you want?  brazilian coffee?'

me:  'i don't like coffee...'

sister:  'oh, yeah, you don't...  so what else do i buy?'

me:  'i like butter pecan...'

sister:  'oh!  i skipped pecan butter...'

me:  'butter pecan!  pecan butter's sandwich spread already...  just like peanut butter...  pecan butter, that's ice cream...'

some things should be in order...  if you put the cart before the horse, you're bound to get a different result...  ; p

cleaning lady

i like washing the dishes myself...  i feel like the plates are cleaner if i'm the one who washed them, hahaha...

anyway, this morning i had brunch and was already washing the dishes when my sister sat down to have brunch, too...

she got food from a couple of plates and i was sure she wasn't gonna get any more so i transferred the dishes to new plates then washed the old ones.  when i was done, i lingered around the dining table a bit...

sister:  'what?'

me:  'nothing...'

sister, pointing to her plate:  'i'll be the one to wash this...'

i glance at the saucer to her left...

sister:  'i'll take care of this...'
in the next breath she adds, 'maybe if i'm washable you'd wash me, too...'


the color of my heart

i have bland taste in clothes...  i want muted colors, plain as much as possible.  if you see me wearing something colorful and heavy on prints, then most likely that is something i did not buy myself.

well, this morning, i ordered a long-sleeved, mid-calf ***red*** dress online.  our family is going to have a masquerade party and since i'm not into dark colors, i thought i'd wear read instead.

guess what, afternoon my sister asks me whether this top of hers is plum.

me:  'why do you need plum?'

sister:  'mom said the colors for the masquerade party are plum, yellow gold or green...'

me:  'no red?!'

sister:  'just those three...'

waaahhhh!!!  where on earth am i going to wear the red dress?!

hmmm...  in case you have a valentine party maybe you could invite me...  ; )

the distance between us

i went to my parents' place...  shortly after, my nephew came in...

nephew:  'are grandpa and grandma here?'

me:  'not downstairs...  i don't know upstairs...  i just arrived...'

nephew:  'where'd you go?'

me:  '[mall]...'

nephew:  'oh!  i was just at [supermarket across mall]...'

me:  'aw!  i didn't know!'

he went upstairs to check the grandparents...  both were not there...

he went home...

right after he left, my dad arrived...

dad:  'where's mom?'

me:  'aren't you together?'

dad:  'no...  i went to [place]...'

me:  'oh!  [nephew] and i were just there, too!'

dinnertime i went back to my parents' place...

me:  'where were you earlier, mom?'

mom:  'i went to [bank across the mall where i went and the supermarket where my nephew was]...'

me:  'wow!  all four of us were so near each other!  we could have met up!'

♩ ♪  got to believe in magic
tell me how two people find each other
in a world that's full of strangers  ♫ ♬


take a number

i've been texting a cousin for three days now...  i just need a simple info, a number which did not even have to be final at this point (it's not really for me...  i'm just a pass-through...)

anyway, the past two days, he dropped out on me...

today, he replied he was busy when i asked whether he had time to text...

wahaha...  this quote suddenly crossed my mind:

"No one is really busy.
It all depends
on what number you are
in their priority list."

i guess i'm last...  ; p

frankly speaking

wanted to give someone my honest opinion but was concerned it would hurt so i asked permission to be brutal...

his reply?

'What the hell - you've been very brutal lately - what's a little more'

huh?! ahahaha...

better to hurt with the truth than comfort with a lie...


squeeze in

friend filling out forms...

manager:  'did you bring a picture?'

friend:  'i did...'

manager:  '1x1?'

friend:  'i have...'

manager:  '1x1 whole body?'

friend:  'huh?!'

hahaha...  ; p

too much

family gathering...  i had too much to drink...  nope, not alcohol...  jelly juice prepared by my cousin...

we were about to go home and i wanted to have a glass of water before leaving but ended up taking a sip of the juice instead...  guess what, i liked it  ->  very much!  (it's been there for the longest time and i just ignored it...  ugh!)

i decided to drink as much as i can lest i crave for it and there won't be any at home...

waaahhh!!!  on the way home, i could feel juice waves inside my tummy!  and when i went to bed, i felt like the juice will spill over through my mouth and my nose if i were to lie down (ugh!  gluttony!)...

i therefore went to sleep in an upright position  ->  my back to the wall and my legs straight on the bed (!)...  when i woke up in the morning, i was already supine...  i dunno when and how i changed positions...  i do know, however, that i'm not going to drink that much ever again...  :"}

how do i?

at a coffee shop... godson received a call from a female friend...

me to his mom: 'let's transfer to another table...'

godson's mom: 'just don't listen...'

me: 'hello! how do i close my ears???'

take a hint

checking out swimwear online...  there was this chest only top plus hipster bikini...  guess what, the description showed size specs not just for the Bust and Hips but also for the Waist...  huh?!  the waist is bare!

hmmm...  is that their way of saying you have to be a certain waist size to pull off the outfit?

hahaha...  okay, okay!  pass...  ;"p

strangers in the house

only my sister and i left at the house (i'm the eldest; she's the youngest)...  we're dining on leftovers...

i looked at the dishes and thought she wouldn't eat one so i put it in a container ready for the ref.  the other two i thought she'd like so i placed them on the usual plates...

guess what, the one in the ref-ready container was what she had...  the other two on the meal-ready plates, she passed up!

me:  'aw!  three out of three i got wrong?!  after all these years, i don't know you?!'

oh, well...  it does take a lifetime...

security blanket

watching golfers (nope, i don't play) and wondering how come they have such big umbrellas...

then suddenly a golf ball flew by
-> one of the caddies started shouting, 'fore! fore!'
a golfer quickly hid behind her giant umbrella!

oh! it protects not just from sun and rain? haha... those umbrellas better be really sturdy to withstand ball hits... no passing through! \m/

the road less traveled

went someplace this morning...  the entrance forked:  straight for those with decals; left for those without...

i used to have a decal...  but then i go to this place only a handful of times a year i decided not to get one anymore...

i therefore turned left... hmmm...  i was the only one who did...  the road was clear...  the drive was smooth...

i left behind those with decals...  they were many...  and they were slowed down by a bottleneck...

sometimes being an outsider could be beneficial...  ; )

comfort zone

a cousin was telling us they were in bicol and, after a 10-hour road trip, her companions wanted to eat at a jollibee.

she was like, 'are you serious?!'

i told her i have a similar experience.  we were in tagaytay and mealtime my friend wanted to go to a starbucks.

i wanted to go ballistic!
'what the...???!!!  i didn't drive all the way to tagaytay just to go to a starbucks!'

starbucks, and jollibees, are everywhere.  if you're on a road trip, maybe it's time to venture out of the familiar and try the local fare.

don't just go far...  go the distance...  \m/


taking pics...

friend:  'it's blurry...'

me:  'it is?  lemme do it again...'

friend checks again:  'it's still blurry...'

me:  'really?  did my hands shake?'

friend:  'you said check the eyes...  they should be sharp...'

me:  'that's what i do in my cam...  i look at the eyes...  if they're sharp then the shot is good...'

friend:  'it's different in phones...'

me:  'let's just prop it there and set the timer...  sure to have no shake that way...'

friend:  'no...  let's just use the camera...'

me:  'you brought a camera?'

friend:  'the camera here [pointing to the Camera app on her phone]...'

me:  'oh!  so that was not what we were using earlier?'

friend:  'no...'

me:  'what was it?'

friend:  '360...'

me:  'hahaha...  use the cam!  the 360 blurs to make us look pretty...'

if it's sharp we'll be our ugly selves...  ;"p

a simple question

asked a friend what her favorite food is...

friend:  'it's not your type...'

me:  'it's ok...  what?'

friend:  'you may not like it...'

me:  'it doesn't matter...'

friend:  'you won't like it...'

me:  'ugh!  it's immaterial whether i like it or not...  i'm asking because i want to know...  it doesn't mean i have to gorge on it!'

some things are simple...  no need to complicate...