peach rose

i dreamt about a former suitor last night. i haven't even been thinking about him (the last time i saw him was before i got married) and suddenly he appears in my dream. i was trying to figure out what possibly could have triggered this and the only thing i could come up with is that a batchmate from japan called me last sunday and this guy took graduate studies in japan. seems like a stretch but... whatever.

anyhow, the dream brought back a lot of memories. before i proceed, i'd like to say i am sure the guy is not on friendster -> not his type.

the first time i met him was in graduate school (in the philippines, not in japan). so it was the first day of class and we were classmates in one subject. after our class, i went to the university shopping center and there i bumped into him. only when he was already courting me did he tell me that he actually followed me to the place. huh? huh! : )

it is from this guy i first heard, "kung gusto, may paraan; kung ayaw, may dahilan." he dropped me that line one time he was asking me out and i was begging off, ha-ha

and then, before he went to japan, he reappeared at the house after a long absence and when i asked what brought him back, he replied with, "yayayain sana kitang magpakasal."

i was like, "huh!!!??? di ba dapat girlfriend muna bago kasal?!"

another time he came back from japan, he called the office asking me out. i said i can't as i was already getting married in a few months. at the other end of the line, i could feel his shock as he kept muttering, "bakit???!!!"

and the first and only time i ever saw my husband flare up, it was because of him. i was already married for quite a while and one time i casually told my husband, "du'n sa e-mail ni _____ ...."

i wasn't able to finish the sentence anymore -> from 0 to 100 in a fraction of a second, my husband flared up, angrily asking, "nag-e-e-mail pa ba kayo ng _____ na 'yan?!"

i said yes, explaining there's nothing wrong with it.

my husband, in what was already a calm but nevertheless rather firm tone, told me he doesn't like it.

the dutiful wife that i was, i abruptly cut off communication with the guy, someone who's been in my life ten years before i even met my husband. (uh-oh, sorry, friends. i go by priorities. if my man does not like you, i'm going to drop you. i'm thinking you'd understand if i choose my man over you. but i doubt my man would understand if i choose my friends over him...)

most notable:

i do pray a lot but i'm not really the type to ask God for signs. true, i've often decided by signs, but these are either signs i did not explicitly ask for or ones i propose to myself. the former, something's up and all i pray for is discernment. the latter, trivial ones like, i'd say if upon walking out the door, i see a girl, then i'd go to this place. if it's a boy, i'd go home : }

one of the rare times i actually prayed to God for a sign, come to think of it, the only time i could recall i did, i asked Him to give me a sign as to which suitor should be my choice. the sign i asked for was a peach rose. i've received red, pink and white roses but no one has ever given me any of the other colors. (not that i like flowers; actually, i don't. at least, not the ones that have already been picked. i'd rather have them on the ground, planted.)

now, this guy has regularly been giving me red roses. within days after i asked God for a sign, he shows up at the house with peach roses!!! i was stunned! i ask him how come his roses were peach. he said the seller ran out of red. imagine!!!

i should have taken my cue from there but i faltered, thinking, personality-wise, we really didn't seem a match. i've actually told him this before and he simply replied that he'd be the one to adjust (aw, sweet!). i thought that would be hard for him so i declined.

all the time that he was courting me, the guy was actually my crush. a schoolmate was telling me many others had a crush on him as he was tall, dark and handsome. the thing is, i couldn't see us as a couple. he was too serious for shallow, little me. granted i make it a point to do my share to make the world a little better somehow but, unlike him, i don't really enjoy discussing the world economy and stuff in my spare time. i cringe at the thought my life would be too serious and too dry, my activities, too restricted, if i end up with him : }

i asked for a sign and i didn't heed it.  times like this, i couldn't help but wonder about what could have been...

contrasting views

i was walking out our office building when i saw two officemates talking to the side.  i approached them, and was greeted with, "you've lost weight!"

was i surprised.  i told them i was with some other officemates just a few hours earlier and they were telling me i've gained weight.

now, these are officemates i see at around the same frequency.

reminds me of a similar occurrence sometime back.  i was walking at our office grounds when i chanced upon an officemate who told me it was the first time she saw me wearing pants. ("ngayon lang kita nakitang nakapantalon.")

i was like, "huh?!"

although i prefer dresses/skirts, it is not at all unusual for me to wear pants.

within that same week, i was in a meeting where one of the attendees made a remark that i was wearing a dress.  ("uy, naka-dress!")


i went, "but i do wear dresses!"

she said she always sees me in pants.

hmmm...  interesting how different people could have contrasting views about the same person...

before you talk...

i was going to my car when i passed the SUV of one of our office's high-ranking officials.  she slid down her window and i was all ears expecting to hear something work-related.  instead, what i heard was a one-liner about something personal.  (she also happens to be one of the sponsors at my wedding years back.)  i chuckled and replied also with a one-liner about something personal.  suddenly, there were shrieks from the vehicle!  yikes!!!  i did not notice from the heavily tinted windows that her car was full of passengers!  i looked in and recognized two officemates; the rest, however, i could not see.  my ninang drove away laughing and i was left a combination of amused and embarrassed

moral of the story, look before you talk  : }

stained violet shirt

it is my officemate's birthday today [happy birthday, dhess : )] and yesterday over lunch, someone suggested that we all wear the same color tomorrow.  sure, yes, go -> everyone was receptive : )

come then the question of what color to wear.  someone says red.  objection right away from someone who does not wear red.  how about green?  another objection from someone who does not have green.  how about blue?  someone prefers orange; another, yellow.  no consensus : }

i break the jovial disagreements by suggesting we just go ROYGBIV, i.e., wear the different colors of the rainbow.  they all excitedly agree.  they ask me what color i'd prefer.  i said they all choose first and whatever's left will be what i'll wear.  guess what, i was left with violet : }

i don't really have any violet outfit so, today, instead of going home to my place, i go instead to my parents' place where i have access to my mom's and my sisters' closets.  (yup, we borrow each other's clothes.  in our family albums, you'd see one outfit on my mom;  flip the page, it's on me;  another page, it's on my sister.  years back when i was still a programmer, i'd go to the office wearing my mom's manager clothes.  dress for success, ha-ha)

anyway, upon arriving, i go straight to my parents' room for the customary mano then ask my mom whether she has violet tops.  she shows me two but i find them somewhat formal for casual friday.

i check out my sisters' clothes.  so many outfits and not a single violet!  ugh!  i was resigned to wearing my mom's top when my sister arrives.  i ask her whether she has a violet top and she brings out a wrinkled, super casual violet tee i didn't see earlier because it wasn't on a hanger.  the shirt definitely has a more homey instead of office feel but it's something i'd prefer over my mom's blouse.  the thing is, i noticed it had bleach marks near the right shoulder part.  hmmm...

i think about my schedule for tomorrow.  i have a lunch invitation.  office hours, i don't really have a meeting but i'm supposed to check out something at another office at another building.  nighttime, we'd be celebrating my officemate's birthday at a karaoke place.  hmmm... hmmm... hmmm... does not sound favorable to stained tees  : }

wait, i do have long hair.  i can use that to cover the bleach marks.  hmmm... yeah, maybe i can pull it off.  i'd just try to hide my right shoulder.  in case anyone of you still sees it though (and cringes at my shirt), this blog is my explanation  ; )

good begets good

yesterday as i was leaving our office building, i overheard someone asking the lobby guard where the CR (washroom) was.  the guard told her all the CRs are inside offices.  it was past 6 pm already and regular office hours are only up to 5 pm.  the guard then directed the visitor to another building.  instead of going to the other building, which actually is not that near, the visitor just walked over to the side as if waiting for someone.

i asked the guard whether we didn't have any 'public' restrooms in the building.  the guard said no.  i thought awhile and realized that of the four buildings in the compound, ours is the only one which did not have an open restroom.  the only restrooms we had are those within office areas.

i told the guard the visitor had to relieve her bladder so kindly just allow her to use the restroom at the ground floor.  the guard declined telling me the ground floor restroom was in the restricted area.  i knew that actually : }

just then, my officemate who was supposed to ride with me arrived.  i asked her whether our office area at the second floor was still open.  she said she wasn't sure.  how about the third floor?  she did not know.  i therefore asked her to wait awhile and i proceeded to tell the guard i'd just accompany the visitor to the restroom inside the restricted area.  the guard did not object  : )

i walked over to the visitor and asked whether she'd like me to accompany her to the washroom.  the visitor said yes.  as we were walking, she told me, 'kami 'yung may dala nu'ng sasakyan [there was a vehicle idling on the driveway], kasama ko si jim...'  i went, 'ay, kilala ko si jim.  dito siya nag-o-office [at the restricted area].'  then she added, 'kapatid ako ni jo.'  i go, 'ay, hipag ka ni jim?!  kilala ko rin si jo (jim's wife).  kasama ko siya dati.'  just then i saw jim going out of his office.  he waved hi from the end of the hallway.  i asked, pointing to the visitor, 'kapatid ni jo?'  he replied yes.  i said i'd just leave her with him then.

i went out and told the guard i've left the visitor with jim.  my officemate and i then went on our way.

thinking back i felt really good about how things turned out.  i thought i was being kind to a stranger but she turns out to be closely connected to people i know after all.  the probability of this is slim as so many people work at our building and most of them i do not really know.  what more, one of the persons she has ties with, i.e., her brother-in-law jim, is someone who've extended me a helping hand a couple of times before.  we'd have problems at the office, i'll SOS jim and he readily sends his people to help.  well, looks like i unexpectedly returned his good deeds somehow.  we do reap what we sow and that is good  : )