burned

let me start by saying this blog is my diary.  you don't want to be part of it, you stay out of my life.

if you are in my circle by force of circumstance then i can leave you out.

but if you enter my circle by choice, as in, i'm ignoring you but you keep on popping back, take the risk that what happens to us will appear in my journal.

in october last year, a high school classmate suddenly invited 3 of us from the batch to dinner.  i was surprised i was among the invitees.  we were not close in high school, we never hang out, and we've seen each other maybe only thrice after graduation (1981); the last time, years ago.

then november she invited again, dinner again, again a very small group -> she says she's choosy with company.

then december she receives an e-mail from someone hiding under an alias.  she seeks my help in finding out who the sender was.  i find out and tell her.

later over the phone, we were talking and i somehow spilled that i was actually there when the stuff relayed in the sender's e-mail was said.  she demands details.  what exactly was said, who said what, who the people present were, what their reactions were, etc.  i wouldn't tell her.

she kept on insisting i give details.  i kept on refusing.  then she went ballistic.  if you are my friend, you would tell me!  you should have told me early on, defended me, blah, blah, blah!  me, i'm going to die/kill for my friends!  you, you probably were laughing with the rest of them while all these things were being said!  you should have stopped the blabber!  i thought you were good, i was wrong!  i don't like you!  i'm out of your life, you're out of mine, blah-blah-blah!  she was yelling and ranting at me as if she owned my soul! i cut short the call.  (context:  the blabbing happened in september.  we got reacquainted only in october.)

she texts me shortly thereafter.  more angry words.

i text back 3 things:

1.  i am not one to spread bad stuff.  all i'll do maybe is warn you about someone.  but give details, i won't.

(note:  i'm giving details now because this is something that concerns me.  in her case, she wanted details about something that concerned her and some other people.  that's not something that would come from me.)

2.  i am not going to impose myself on people who don't like me

3.  i am not going to put up with people i don't like

following morning, there's more in e-mail.  i don't reply and ignore her henceforth.

later she sends conciliatory e-mail, updates me on her exchanges with the incognito e-mail sender, apologizes, sends friendly texts (when i was on vacation, when i got back, when she was on vacation, etc.).  i pretty much don't respond.

i do accept her apologies.  but then what she did to me changes the equation altogether.  i've been nice to her all along.  accommodating her requests (call me, call me, call me) even during office hours.  that is not something i normally do.  and then this?!

no way am i going to exert extra effort for her now.  if i'm going someplace and she's there, fine.  but going someplace because she is there, nope.

she has again reappeared in my life.  and displayed once again reactions that made me go "huh?!"

we've gone through life without each other for years.  i don't see why we should inflict ourselves on each other now.

huh?!

the e-mails i received last week bordered on the surreal.

a classmate from high school sent me info on singapore including figures showing it's population as 7% indian.

i share with her that my masteral studies is actually international studies, area studies southeast asia.  i also tell her that "the point of the blog is that we have mind sets and sometimes we end up ruling out certain possibilities because we're focusing on something else.  when someone said singaporean, the immediate picture that came to mind was that of a chinese-looking fellow and recollection of an indian guy was not top of mind."

she responds by asking whether i have to brag about my educational background and tells me not to insult her by explaining what the blog is about.

huh?!  oh... my... goodness... : }

before that there were these e-mails from a cousin in the US.  he was checking on the laptop he sent me and i tell him that i couldn't make it work.

he asks me whether i plugged it.  huh?!  why should i do that?!  joke!  i did.  duh!

he fires off another e-mail asking whether i turned it on.  huh?!  i have to do that?!  i'm rolling in laughter here!!!  of course, i did!!!

some questions are just totally unexpected... they boggle the mind, ha-ha

the bull

i was in front of the computer with my niece when the phone rang.  it was for me.

i gave brief instructions to my niece and she explained something back.

my caller notes, "english-speaking pala pamangkin mo..."

i go, "nope"

"how come she talked to you in english?"

"not always.  unless it's school, her usual medium of communication's tagalog."

i tell her that when they were young (my nephew and my niece), we talked to them in english.  when they started going out to play, however, it became tagalog-time as that was their playmates' language.

i have a funny memory, actually.  with us in the house is my mama in (mama linda).  she joined our household way back when i was still a baby (yup, more than four decades ago!).  she's visayan and her "o" sounds are not so smooth.

one time i overheard her shouting to my nephew, "get the bull!"

huh?!  ball!

so much for english... LOL!

race or place

i was in one of our regular meetings and we were trying to trace the history of some change being requested for implementation.

one of the attendees says the change was discussed by a singaporean in one of the meetings months back.

my boss is surprised. she asks, "a singaporean attended our meeting???"

"yes, ma'am"

she started tapping her head, trying to recall, "singaporean... singaporean..."

someone helps her, "the indian, ma'am"

her forehead wrinkles, "what is it really, indian or singaporean?"

"indian... working in singapore"

laughter ; )

weekend exchange

yesterday, i called up one of our contractors to inform him that a certain document has passed me for initials and asked him whether they're ready with the additional hardware required under the new contract.

he said they'll still have to order it and delivery date is within 45 days. i reminded him per contract it has to be delivered within 30 days otherwise they'd be penalized. he was taken aback and said they'll try to obtain the hardware asap.

i told him that would be good as i've earlier requested my boss to kindly sign the document the moment it reaches her as we've been awaiting one of the contractor's hardware deliverables given that the one we're using has conked out.

i also told him the document was actually supposed to have been already signed the other day. i related to him that i was at my boss's office and one of her staff brought in a folder for signature. from where i was sitting, i saw the header and thought it was for my office so i told her, "ma'am, i've been awaiting that. i hope you would sign asap." she did. i then told her all we need now to get the project on-board is the contractor's signature. she told me to call the contractor so we could have the contract completely signed immediately.

it turned out, however, that the document her staff brought in was for some other project, not mine. ooops! the manager for said project got lucky : }

anyway, sometime after my call, my staff informs me that the contractor's officemate called him complaining that according to her officemate (the contractor i called) i was holding release of the document because we were down. huh?! where on earth did that come from?

i texted the contractor i was earlier on the phone with asking how come he mixed up my statements and even had certain things turned around the other way.

he texted back he did not mix anything up and did not twist any statements.

i relayed to him what my staff told me. i emphasized to him i was actually trying to have the document released asap not at all delaying it.

he texts back later admitting to the mixed up statements and apologizing for the error. he says he has corrected the information he earlier relayed to his officemate and ends his text with, "sorry po ulit tao lang po." -> my apologies again, just human. this amuses me and my annoyance is erased.

my officemates and i later made a joke from this, i.e., when close to end of office hours recollections of some event ran counter to each other, we asked, "sinong tao dito at sinong diyosa?" -> who's human here and who's a goddess (i e., not the one in error)? ha-ha

i thought that was the end of it, but what do you know, today, yup, a saturday, i receive another text from the contractor. he was again apologizing about the error.

i text back, "it's ok. move on. no prob"

he texts again saying he was really embarrassed about what happened.

i again text him it's ok now and just please be accurate in relaying statements next time.

he texts back he will.

i text him to enjoy his weekend and not disturb mine.

end of exchange ; )