simply put

the following message made laugh:

Sa restaurant:

Waiter:  Ano po ang order nila, ma'am?

Amo:  Half-chicken meal na lang.  Ikaw, Inday, ano order mo?

Inday:  I would like a dish of sauted pork & chicken boiled in thick essence of soy sauce and veggies, like carrots, cauliflower & baguio beans, sprinkled generously w/ fine spices & spring onion plus generous garnish of shrimp & chicken liver!

Amo:  Waiter, bigyan mo raw ng chopsuey itong babaeng ito!  Pakidamihan mo ng vetsin para mamatay na!

; )

tippler

my friend has been telling me she has this pal who likes me.  then last night, she brought it up again, asking whether the guy would have a chance if he courted.

i said no way.

she asked why.

i explained i don't want someone who smokes nor drinks.  (the guy arrived at her place beer in hand and was then in the garage puffing a cigarette.)

right after finishing my sentence, the guy popped in, saying a case of beer will be delivered to my friend's house.

hahaha, talk about confirmation.  case closed.

serious?!

i attended a dear friend's birthday.  going home, she requested me to take a pic of her friends celebrating another birthday next-door.

ok.

taking their shot, i said, "pa-cute..."

and one of the guys said, "pa-kiss..."

i told my birthday-celebrator friend, "pa-kiss daw..."

and the guys said, "hindi siya, ikaw..."

i went, "hindi ako nagpapa-kiss... papakasalan mo 'ko pag hinalikan mo 'ko..."

the guys chorused, "sige!!!  sige!!!"  and one rushed forward to kiss me.

yikes!!!  i had to flee  : }

car call

my phone rings...

me: hello... hello... hello...

caller: can you hear me?

me: choppy... where are you?

caller: i'm in the car

me: hands-free?

caller: uhm... hands-free?

me: you're in the car why are you calling me?

caller: i'm not driving

me: you're not driving?

caller: the car is in the garage... i'm inside the car...

me: why are you calling me inside the car?

caller: i'm doing laundry...

huh?! suddenly i pictured him inside the car with a basin in front doing handwash, hahaha. well, actually he was inside the car waiting for his laundry to get done... ; )

badly hit

i asked an officemate to list down some items i could pick up at the grocery to give to those badly hit by typhoon ondoy. she gave me a list the last item of which was ice cream.

me: ice cream???

reply: para kay buntis...

huh?! nasalanta ka, buntis? LOL!