dad provides

mom tinkering in the yard...

me:  'mom, don't you know that's a rather expensive pair of slippers you're wearing?  that cost a few thousand pesos!  i bought it in singapore yet...'

mom chuckles:  'oh...  the other pair's not as comfortable...'

me:  'oh, ok...'

dad:  'don't worry...  i'll buy her again later...'

; )

make it double

sister brought home liempo (pork belly)...

sister:  'don't you like this?'

me:  'i do...'

sister:  'why aren't you eating?'

me:  'my cholesterol's high...'

sister:  'i'm tired...  this is my comfort food...'

me:  'that's too fatty...  what are your other comfort foods?'

sister:  'chocolate...'

me:  'you should just have bought chocs...'

sister:  'i did, too...'



at the bank this afternoon, i had to go to the teller past my queue number...

me:  'sorry, i'm late...'

teller:  'i was calling you earlier but you didn't come...'

me:  'i was assisting the old lady at the kiosk...'

teller:  'yup...  you were assisting her there...'

me:  'ei, but i wasn't the one who keyed in the amount, huh!  it was him.'
(i pointed to another bank employee.)

teller chuckles:  'they entered the account number...'

me:  'oh...  so that's why!  i was so surprised,  the amount was in the millions!'

(the lady's check was only for a few thousand.  the guy did say the teller will correct the entry when the lady goes to the counter.)

all in a day's work

mom tells my dad my uncle, her brother, likes freshly cooked meals all the time.  he does not like it when food from a previous meal is served again at the next meal.

dad:  'if it's for the health then why not?'

mom:  'how 'bout you?  you don't want repeats, too?'

dad:  'well, <brother-in-law> and i are different...  i'm military...  even if it's fifth reading already i'll still eat it...'

; p

oh, i'm g's

medical checkup this morning...  x-ray, ECG, blood, urine, blood pressure, general physical examination...

in between the urine check and blood pressure check, while i was waiting for my mom, the radiographer approached me...  he wanted a repeat of the x-ray...  he says he's been doing this for years and this is the first time he saw something like it...  he said maybe it's just an artifact or the chemicals on the plate but he wanted to be sure...

me:  'what's an artifact?  am i an antique?'  ; )

anyway, he showed me my plate...  well, there was something that looked like a signature on my left side...  it looked like a cursive small letter g or q three ribs high...

me, examining the plate:  'hmmm...  i'm signed???  maybe i'm owned...  like cattle, you have branding...'

; )

the second x-ray was okay i suppose because the radiographer did not ask me back anymore...

keep calm and show maturity

dad, referring to two people currently receiving a lot of flak:  '<toot1> and <toot2>  should  just say something brief and that's it...  no need to belabor the point...  they're getting piqued...  they should stay calm...'

mom:  'because they're already tired...'

dad:  'y'know, that shows your maturity...  if you are able to stay calm even when you're tired...'

me:  'you yourself get mad...  and you're not even tired...'

dad:  'well, that's when i really am angry...  calm and angry are two different things...  you can get angry even when you're not tired...  just because you get angry does not mean you're immature...'

a better deal

called a distributor about a certain item i want to purchase...

me:  'i'd like to know how much <item> is, please...'

company representative checks:  'we sell it at <price>, ma'am...'

me:  'do you accept credit cards or just cash?'

company representative:  'cash only, ma'am...  but they have it at <retail store> ...  there they accept credit cards...'

me:  'do you have the same price?'

company representative:  'they have a higher price, ma'am...'

me:  'by how much?'

company representative:  'maybe around P200, ma'am...'

me:  'oh...  so i'll just buy from you then...'

company representative:  'better at <retail store>, ma'am...  they have 6 months zero percent interest for credit cards...'

me:  'yeah, but they're higher by P200...  i'd rather pay cash and get it at a lower price...'

company representative:  'but if you use your credit card, ma'am, you can still use your cash for something else...'

me:  'well, if i put that amount in the bank it's not gonna earn P200 in a year so i'm better off paying in cash...'

econ 101...

surprise me

i was checking out stuff at a store earlier when i heard someone asking the saleslady where they could find a pay phone.

i butted in and asked whether they're calling a landline.


i offered my phone (my plan gives me unlimited calls to landlines).

so call they did.


then i went out to go to another store.  after that i sat in one of the benches in the hallway to check something on my phone.  type, type, type.  scroll, scroll, scroll.  type, scroll, type, scroll.  then i stood up.  was i startled to see someone right in front of me asking, 'may i make a call again?'  she was one of the women to whom i offered my phone earlier and now we were standing so close face-to-face.  oh, hehe...

ok.  i handed her my phone.

again she made a call.


i went my way flitting from store to store.  hmmm...  weird.  as i was doing so i was amusedly thinking, i wonder whether they'd show up here again.  well, i'd readily lend my phone again.  but no, i did not see them anymore.

; )

in my Father's house

at mass this evening, there was a bit of an interruption as one of the church-goers suddenly fainted on his seat...  at an appropriate interval, the priest walked over from the altar to pray over the guy...  the latter seemed okay after a while, thank God...

i don't want to sound morbid but when this happened, it suddenly crossed my mind:  that must be a good way to die, in church, listening to the words of God...

the rules

missed call on my phone...  i ring back...

me:  'hello...  your number has a missed call on my phone...  who's calling, please?'

guy:  'i was the one who called...'

me:  'who are you?'

guy:  '<toot>!'

me:  'oh...  i should save your number so i would know not to ring back, hehe...'

guy chuckles:  '<blah-blah-blah>...'

me:  '<blah-blah-blah>...'

<blah-blah-blah>, <blah-blah-blah>...

me:  'wait...  i'll end this call then you ring me right back...  i don't want it to appear in the logs that i'm the one calling you...'



caller:  'how do you feel when a guy tells you <uhm>?'

me:  'depends on the guy...'

caller:  'if it's <toot1>?'

me:  'haha...  of course, i'm very happy...'

caller:  '<toot2>?'

me:  'well, if he said it before i met <toot1> then i'll be happy, too...  but now, no big deal...'

caller:  '<toot3>?'

me:  'no big deal...'

caller:  'what if it's me?'

me:  'haha...  no big deal!'

; p


checking the fine print:  "... not valid for group event..."

me:  'what is the definition of a group?  how many people is that?'

friend:  'group of two...'

me:  'oh?  that's a group?!  that's just a pair to me...'

or a date...  ; )

i love the way you lie

on the phone...  talking body parts...

friend:  'i can tell a girl's cup size even when she's clothed, like wearing a shirt...'

me:  'oh?  i don't know about cup sizes...  what's mine?'

friend chuckles:  'i don't look at yours...'

oh, really, huh!  \m/

personal banker

friend requesting me to buy something online on his behalf...  computing the costs...

me:  'you still have change with me...  so we'll deduct that...'

friend chuckles:  'it's ok...  i'll make you my bank...'

me:  'bank?  i don't pay interest...'

friend:  'it's ok...'

me:  'well, your change is actually below maintaining balance for a bank...  you're even supposed to be charged penalties, hehe...'

friend:  'no penalty...  there's no interest anyway...'

me:  'banks charge penalty when you fall below maintaining balance even when you don't earn interest...'

friend:  'you don't require maintaining balance...'

me:  'hehe...  i'm cheap, huh!'

; )

spare them

phone call for my brother...

me:  'oh...  he lives next door...'

caller asks for my mom...

me:  'what for?'

he wants to confirm the type of cable subscription she has...

me:  'hmmm...  you want me to call my mom for that?  can't you check it in your database yourself?'

: }

if you can't lick 'em...

my mom is on my facebook Restricted list...  uhm, there are actually more than 300 of them there...  : }

anyway, i put her there, among other things, because it irks her whenever i post pics of my food in facebook  ->  my chocs, my brunch, my dessert, my dinner, my whatever...  :O

mom:  'why are you taking pictures of all these stuff?'

me:  'i want to have a remembrance of what goes into my body...'

she doesn't like it...  : (

well, this evening she called me...  she wanted me to take a picture of this nice can of crêpes a cousin sent her...

aha!  joining the bandwagon, mom, huh!  ; )

choose your battles

dishwashing duty...  mom gives me one of the pans to wash...  it looked like an ordinary pan...  when i held it, however, the weight startled me...

'whoa!!!  sooo heavy!!!  mom!!!  don't buy such heavy pans!!!'  :O

simplify your life...