i've been engaged in a tug-of-war with this someone i'd really like to but could not, would not have. i have my reasons -> quite a list. the thing is, my heart has desires of its own and fortune seems to have plans for us both. what a combination to go up against. i've been holding up though. i dunno for how long.
things started out quite well actually. so smooth. so light. so enjoyable. and then somewhere along the way, i started thinking about other people. then suddenly everything seemed so complicated.
i dunno. some actions are irrevocable; certain damage irreparable. at this point i am not totally convinced it is worth the risk.
i normally don't settle. but this time i'm settling on a compromise. something out there but not quite. i hope it tides me over till my heart, and fortune, tires out.
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