saved by the bell

on the phone...

guy:  "ano new year's resolution mo?"
      ->  what's your new year's resolution?

me:  "uhm...  magpakabait...  : ("
      ->  be good...  : (
     "ikaw, ano new year's resolution mo?"
      ->  you, what's your new year's resolution?

guy:  "magpakabait."
      ->  be good.

me:  "ows...  kaya mo 'yun?!"
      ->  you can do that?!

before the guy could answer, the line was cut...  ; p

new year wishes

received this text message...  sharing:

NEW YEAR  wishes for YOU:

1. Sunrise after the darkest of nights.

2. Friends who bring out the best in you.

3. A love that makes you smile.

4. Belief that anything is possible. 

5. Courage to finally do what you've been putting off.

6. Time for yourself.

7. Promises that are not broken.

8. An answered prayer.

9. A heart that forgives.

10. A soul that heals.

11. A good life & healthy body.

A BLESSED & PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR AHEAD OF US!!!

: )

past and future

last day of the year...  learning the lessons of the past...  relishing everything that's been good...  leaving the bad ones behind...  time to start afresh tomorrow...  : )

clueless

hahaha...  apparently the guy has not read my blog (http://maria0cynthia.blogspot.com/2011/12/jerk.html)...  i again received a message from him:

"miss u so much, love more..."

yuck!  i wonder how many girls he sent that to...  i wonder what he'll do once he finds out he's been found out...  ; p

losing focus

on the phone with my best friend 10:27 a.m.  she was requesting me to do something.  so log on i did, but first read my mails, clicked around all over, and so forth...

11:00 i was logging off and i had an open app.  i checked...  uh-oh,  'twas my best friend's request...  i had forgotten all about it...  : O

ugh!  distractions...  : }

jerk

guy's YM messages...

to me:

Dec 20, 2011
12:58:39 PM
I LOVE YOU!

2:08:43 PM
love you,

8:38:49 PM
i miss you so much it hurts to the bone

Dec 21, 2011
9:02:26 AM
i love you...........

Dec 22, 2011
8:39:32 AM
i love you and will continue to love you, cynthia

8:40:55 AM
the love i leave with you is there, walang kupas...

8:45:21 AM
love you

Dec 23, 2011
8:02:43 AM
love, you, baby


to ANOTHER girl:

Dec 21, 2011
2:07:08 PM
miss you

2:23:54 PM
take care, LOVE YOU

2:24:37 PM
ilu


oh, guys...  sheesh!!!  \m/

gift-wrapping

ugh!  so many wrappers and i could not come up with a matching pair big enough to wrap my gift...  : }
(ooops...  yup...  someone still doing some last-minute shopping
->  my ultimate christmas gift deadline's actually valentine, hahaha)

next time:

A.  buy wrappers of the same design
(that's what i do...   but this time i'm using my mom's, hehe)

or

B.  buy smaller presents

; )

he said, she said

couple shirt...

hers:  "Don' stare.  He's mine."

his:  "I'm hers."

hmmm...  ' must have been designed by a guy.

i woud have done it the other way:

his:  "Don' stare.  She's mine."

hers:  "I'm his."

\m/

do and don't

someone wants to see me tonight...  i've declined but i'm not really sure whether my 'no' would stick...  it has crumbled big-time before...  : }

now i receive a dinner invitation also for tonight from good, old friends...

hmmm...  test of priorities....  test of resolve...  or is it a sign?

it cannot last

i e-mailed a confidant some pics last week...  his comment:  "...  your happiness definitely comes through loud and clear."

yup, i was happy...  heartbreaking that some things just should not be...

</3

intelligent material

i was out with someone yesterday...  well, i've been out of the car just a while when i felt something loosen...  i instinctively reached for my back and, true enough, my br_ strap got unhinged...  this is not the first time this happened BUT this is definitely something that doesn't happen often...  rarely, as in, just a handful of times (just one hand, ok) in my whole entire life...

my (naughty) friends actually term such "intelligent material," ahahaha...  ; )

veering off-course

i was driving to market!market! last monday and twice i missed my turn...  i've been living in the area for the past 10 years!  uhm, i was on the phone with someone...  :")

well, this morning the guy i was on the phone with that time told me while he was on the phone with me yesterday, he overshot his destination (he was on his way home) and ended up at the expressway.  he had to pay toll, exit at the nearest exit and turn back.

hmmm...  we're distracting each other, guy...  this can't go on...  we might find ourselves someplace we never intended to be...

the feeling is mutual ♥♥

ym message at 9:03 a.m.:  "will be thinking of you the whole day, cynthia"

sweet... ♥

and true  ->  the guy was messaging / texting / calling me throughout the day...  :")

i'm sooo happy...  : )))

that lovin' feelin'

i was on the phone with someone...  topics were generic, not romantic...  but i dunno, i felt like love filled the air...  ugh!  ' am so mushy...  : }

good morning

guy wanted to see me this morning...  he has work...

me:  "what are you going to tell the office?"

guy:  "that i'm in love..."

aawww...  :")

it's not that simple

on the phone...

me:  'i attended my high school reunion last saturday...'

guy:  'why didn't you tell me beforehand?'

me:  'why should i?'

guy:  'aren't we sweethearts?'

me:  'no.'

this guy has been saying he's my boyfriend, i'm his girlfriend and i maintain he's not, i'm not.

just because i like you and you know it does not mean i am your girl.  sometimes things are complicated...  </3

what makes you happy vs. what's good for you

on the phone...

me:  '...  you promised you won't call me again...  you promised you won't ask me out again...  look where we are now...'

guy:  'barado na naman ako...'
->  'i got slammed again...'

me:  'hindi kita binabara (->  i'm not slamming you)...  i'm just telling the truth...'

guy:  'yeah...'

<pause>

guy:  'but then didn't you wish that i would un-promise?'

me:  'uhm...  yes...  but then it works both ways...  had you kept your promise, it would be good for everyone...  now that you broke it, i'm the only one who's happy...'

and i don't even think it's good for me...

<sigh>

tipsy

i was at a party last night (uhm, up to 3 this morning actually)...  i was wearing this loose, long-sleeved, not at all revealing top and i was talking off and on with this guy i really haven't seen in ages...  earlier chats were okay...  then later in the night, we again shared a table and he blurts out, "ang sexy mo...  grabe!"

huh?!  ahahaha...  reminded me of

'the more beer i have, the less ugly you get...'

nyahaha...  toinks!!!  ; p

they never change

i attended my high school reunion / christmas party last night...

this batchmate sees me, tells me he's been looking for me for years, goes bonkers then says, "ngayong nakita na kita, hindi na kita tatantanan..."  (->  'now that i've found you, i won't let up...')

not to be outdone, another one butts in with, "gusto mo, iwanan ko asawa ko and pakasalan kita?"  (->  'you want, i'll leave my wife and marry you?')

huh?!  ahahaha...  oh, guys...  grow up!  \m/

daddy's girl

ei, my dad just gave me P5,500.00  : D

he sold some scrap from 'my' place and he gave me the proceeds...

i didn't want to take it, it's his house, it's his property, i'm just staying there ->  rent-free  : }
but then he was adamant, as in, his forehead went knotted when i kept on declining the money...  : O

i feel like a little girl...  being given an allowance by her dad...

i'm so lucky...  and i'm so thankful...  : )

morning girl

my dad unexpectedly showed up at my place...

oh...  i'm a good girl, dad...  you can check the logs at the village gate...  i came in at, uhm, 6:30 a.m. yesterday...  ooops...  : }

sound advice

hahaha...  talking to a friend about this insistent / persistent caller...  his advice:  just tell the guy, "we don't negotiate with terrorists..."

hey, good one, eh...  yea!!!  \m/

i don't think so

on the phone...

me:  'good thing i'm not your girlfriend...'

guy:  'you're not???'

me:  'no!'

hmmm...  am i???  suddenly i have doubts...  wahaha...  toinks!!!

meeting halfway

i've been engaged in a tug-of-war with this someone i'd really like to but could not, would not have.  i have my reasons  ->  quite a list.  the thing is, my heart has desires of its own and fortune seems to have plans for us both.  what a combination to go up against.  i've been holding up though.  i dunno for how long.

things started out quite well actually.  so smooth.  so light.  so enjoyable.  and then somewhere along the way, i started thinking about other people.  then suddenly everything seemed so complicated.

i dunno.  some actions are irrevocable; certain damage irreparable.  at this point i am not totally convinced it is worth the risk.

i normally don't settle.  but this time i'm settling on a compromise.  something out there but not quite.  i hope it tides me over till my heart, and fortune, tires out.

it's all in the mind

on the phone...  guy asks me something...

i reply, 'yup...  because i don't have a boyfriend...'

guy:  'i am your boyfriend!'

me:  'you are???'

guy:  'yes...'

me:  'haha...  long-distance, no-touch boyfriend...'

if you can live with that then go ahead, think as you please...  ; p

you're special, guy... VERY...

on the phone:

caller:  'you have 3 options...'

me:  'and what are those?'

caller:  'have <guy 1> do it...  have <guy 2  ->  the caller himself> do it...'

i cut him off with, 'of course, i'll take <guy 2> anytime!'

then the caller goes, 'oh, <guy 1>!'
then he launches off in these statements of self-pity, blah, blah, blah.

huh?!

me:  'did you hear what i just said???'

caller:  'no...'

me:  'i said i'll take <guy 2  ->  caller's name> anytime...'

caller:  'oh!  you see, i'm used to being shut out by you so...'

me:  'when was the last time i shut you out?  tell me when...  i haven't really been shutting you out lately...'

sometimes we're too caught up in the past, we fail to appreciate the present...

playing for keeps

in fairy tales, the couples live happily "ever after..."  not "for a little while..."

i want the fairy tale...

forgetful

wahaha...  i changed his name on my contacts list...  now when he rang and the new name appeared i was wondering who on earth this person is who is calling me...  he was already saying his name and i was still like, 'who?  who?'

i've forgotten the name change and i wasn't able to right away reconcile the person with the alias...  toinks!!!

don't settle

at megamall this afternoon, i was supposed to buy a genius brand mouse at octagon.  price was P550.00.  they didn't have the color i like though.

before paying at the cashier, i requested the one who assisted me to please hold my basket awhile while i go check out the genius store nearby.  i said i wanted to check first whether they have another color.

so off i walked over to genius and guess what, exactly the same mouse was selling for P400!  whoa!  fifty paces away (yup, i counted) and there's a P150 difference?!  uh-oh...

anyway, i was thinking, i guess if you search out your heart's desire then you will get a better deal.

what he'll remember

phone call from someone i've asked to stop calling me (not the VoIP caller, ok)...

me:  "you know i wasn't going to pick up the phone but then..."

guy:  "you missed me..."

me:  "haha...  yeah..."

ugh!  i 'fessed up so quickly...  : O

actually, the reason i picked up was because i had a question...  i did tell him that...  but i guess what he'll remember is the fact that i missed him...  : }

they go together

my mom was pointing out to me her christmas decors:  'they're by theme...  that one's all christmas trees...  other one's all angels...  that's the snowman corner...  that's the santa corner...'

hmmm...  each item really matched its grouping...  i noticed, however, something that didn't have a santa face in the santa corner...  it's a ceramic piece showing gifts one on top of the other.

me:  'how come you have these gifts here?'

mom:  'because santa has gifts!'

oh...  of course!  : D

caps and kisses

someone gave me a cap yesterday.  he was about to put it on my head and i suddenly veered away going, "oh, no, no, no..."

he looked puzzled and asked why.

i said when you put your cap on a girl then you're entitled to a kiss.

he was like, "i'm not gonna kiss you..."

me:  "what if you do?!"

i guess he was a combination annoyed, perplexed and frustrated.  anyway, he just handed me the cap.

sorry, really, ' am paranoid...  my dad is a military man.  my estranged husband, a master mariner.  these two professions have this certain tradition with caps.  i remember my dad telling me before, if a girl puts on a (PMA) cadet's shako, then the cadet is supposed to kiss the girl.  no, it's not taking advantage.  it's tradition...  and you're not supposed to break it.

x x x

just like my blog ♥

aw...  text message from someone who's on my mind...  and in my heart...  haha...  just like the tagline of my blog:

"what's on my mind...  what's in my heart...  my life..."

uhm...  much as i want to, the last part won't apply...  <sad>

</3

perceptive ♥

text message:

"U knw hw i feel, cynthia, i'm in love w u, and u me"

whoa!  is that confidence?  ...  or cognizance?

: O

because it's there

at the parking lot...

friend:  "you want me to inflate your tire?"

me:  "am i flat?!"

friend:  "no."

me:  "then why are you gonna inflate my tire?"

friend:  "because i brought my inflator."

huh?!  wahaha...  good thing he's not a surgeon otherwise 'twould be,

"you want me to operate on you?  i brought my surgical instruments..."

; p

don't text and drive

i received a text message from someone who i know was on the road.

i text back:  "U dryvng?  Dnt txt!  Ingat."

the guy's reply:  "Yes, k, see?  U care, hapi n ako, ..."

nyeh!  "don't text and drive" applies to everyone.

but yup, i do care...  :")

it is more blessed to give than to receive

my first birthday gift i received on the third day of october (my birthday is on the latter part).

my first christmas gifts (yup, plural) i received on november 28.

our first carollers came to my parents' place on november 2 (yup, all souls' day).  and then there was another set yesterday, november 29.  they were early not just in date but in time as well  ->  4:30 p.m.

it occurred to me just now the difference in my reactions to the two:

for the gifts, i squealed in delight going, 'yey!  so early!  : D'

for the carollers, i was like, 'huh?!  so early!  : }'

is it because receiving to me is more welcome than giving?  uh-oh...  baaddd...

my dad was excited to give to the carollers...  i guess i should try to be more like him...

the courage of a hero

bonifacio day...  that funny verse came to mind:

"andres bonifacio, atapang a tao
aputol a kamay, hindi atakbo
aputol a paa, hindi atakbo
apugot a ulo, hindi atakbo
aputol a <toot>, atakbo atulin."

kidding aside, in times that call for heroism, hope we all could be atapang, hindi atakbo...

God is good : )

good food (i especially liked the puto pao from biñan...  or was it cavite?)...  : )~
good friends...  ♥
good time (♩ ♪ song ♫ ♬, pics and laughter)...  : D

life is good and i am thankful...  : )

presumptuous

passed by the supermarket on our way to a mall.  friend checked out some lindt chocs.  i pointed to the almond one saying, 'this is what i buy...'

with that he immediately picked it up.

me:  'hey, is that for me?'

friend:  'no, for me.'

ahahaha... presumptuous me!  he did share it with me though....

; p

my fave

i received a call from someone i've considered a friend for quite sometime now.

caller:  'you want leche flan?'

huh?!  with such a question the 'friendship' suddenly seemed questionable to me.  if he really were my friend, he would already know that the answer to that would be a resounding yes!

; p

where else

phone call at 3:33 p.m. from someone scheduled to come over at my parents' place at 3:30:  'where are you?'

me:  'at my parents' place...  you?  are you there?'  (i meant at the gate.)

guy:  '' am on my way...'

he was already near.

uhm...  what sort of question was that?  we're supposed to meet at my parents' place, where else would i be?  i should have told him i'm at the mall...  i wonder what his reaction would be...  ; p

something out of nothing

guy sees me walking a few blocks away from our street.  he goes, 'hi...  where's your car?'

huh?!

A.  he knows i have a car
B.  he thinks i should have a car
C.  he wants my car
D.  i'm making a mountain out of a molehill

; )

speaking their language

at the woodcraft shop...

me:  'and then this one has to be 120 mm...'

worker:  'we don't have mm...'

me:  'huh?!  of course, you do...'

i check his tape measure...  i go, 'there!  that's mm...'

worker:  ' that's centimeter!'

me:  'oh, just remove the zero from mm that would be centimeter...  120 mm is 12 centimeters...'

guy looks at me and i'm not really sure whether that's an expression of understanding on his face...  : }

uhm...  i think i have to revise my drawing and change all the 0.5's and 0.25's to 1/2 and 1/4...

stop calling me

this morning, my phone rang.  i got excited seeing the number.  i had missed calls from that number last week yet.  i was curious who the caller could be.  i was hoping 'twould be, uhm, someone i'd be happy to talk to again...  :")

well, guess what, i take the call and it was someone else.  i was actually disappointed...  : }

the caller said something.  i said 'ok' then immediately hang up.  he rang again a couple more times.  i wasn't interested.

this guy i've decided to cut out of my life.  let's just say that i found his words, uhm, unreliable.  i don't like that.  (i dunno who does.)

normally i'd refrain from talking to such people.  i don't want to waste my time listening to stuff i am not sure i can believe.  this one, however, was living by himself that time.  sympathetic me therefore could not get myself to ignore his calls.  i was thinking, what if it's an emergency?  what if he needs anything?  what if he slipped?  what if he's been hurt?  what if, what if, what if...

i therefore went on talking to him, just over the phone, declining every single request to see each other again.  several times i've been tempted to hang up on him  ->  his words, his thoughts, his plans, sometimes they make me want to puke, ugh!  anyway, i just consoled myself with the thought that the situation wasn't a permanent one.  he was scheduled to join his family in a while and then there'd be someone who will be there for him.  i thought i could put up until that time.  unfortunately, my patience ran out.

there was a time i cared so much about this guy.  has he eaten?  is he hungry?  is he safe?  there was a time i was concerned what he thought of me.  and then something snapped.  i dunno.  there came a point when he just ceased to matter.  there he was misinterpreting my statements, stringing together words i spoke in different contexts, and i wouldn't so much as try to correct him.  it really didn't matter to me anymore what he thought of me.  actually, it didn't matter to me anymore what he thought, period.

my heart's desire?

ooops...  i had agreed to and meant seeing each other 'one last time' but my Sent message shows 'one last night'...  yikes!  freudian slip?  : O

the prudent move

someone i've been trying to avoid was again asking me out today.  i ignored the invitation and the guy made a half-joke about taking a number.  hmmm...  i do say that  ->  to others.  this guy, i really am surprised, all of a sudden he has jumped the queue.  i met him just recently and there he is, on top of the heap.  i don't understand...  or maybe i do...  sort of creeps me out, actually...  : }

i used to be really confident i can handle these things  ->  quite well, thank you very much  <-  i'm a veteran...  : (

this time, however, i'm not so sure i can stand my ground.  i'm therefore keeping distance.  i don't wanna test myself.  i might fail.

you don't fight temptation.  you stay away from it.

</3

the importance of timing

last week, i received an invitation coursed through a friend.  i told her i'm begging off as i don't feel like driving to the place plus the honoree and i don't really know each other.  i even had my friend repeat to me several times my statement she's supposed to relay, careful about the wording and intonation, as i was afraid it might be taken the wrong way.

well, guess what, my friend wasn't able to relay my message right away.  instead, what she made was a request to also bring someone else along.  what happened was her request was turned down  ->  either it's just her or both of us but not the third.  she was telling me about it and i was like, uh-oh, so now instead of me declining the invitation, it now appears that we were the ones turned down.  what a difference timing makes...  : }

efficiency

there is this supplier i met just recently.  i actually almost cancelled my trip to their office because i got caught in awful traffic going there.  in fact, i already called my contact telling him i was going to turn back at the next slot.  the guy, however, persuaded me to proceed saying i was already near, traffic will ease up in a couple of blocks, they'll wait for me (it was close to end of office hours for them).

well, good thing i listened.  the vehicles did pick up speed not long after.

i arrived at their office all whiny, tired and feeling harassed and the guy oh so kindly and accommodatingly listened to and attended to my concerns.  he gave me his business card but unlike my usual wont which is to read it, that time i simply slipped the card in my bag and continued checking out what it was they were trying to show me.

after that first meeting, i'd go on texting the guy for my requests and he'd always so kindly respond to them.

well, this afternoon 'twas the supplier who texted me asking for some info.  i said i'll e-mail.  i therefore took out his card from my laptop bag and, guess what, it turns out the guy has a pretty high rank in the company!  yikes!  my concerns were so petty and i've been bothering him!

i texted him my discovery and embarrassment and he replied saying titles are just a name and he still is a salesman after all.

well, i told him the higher you are, the bigger your responsibilies so he better just assign me to someone else, someone with responsibilities more proportionate to my small-time concerns.

it's not about being snooty.  it's not about being picky.  it's about efficiency and an optimal mix.  you should apply just the right amount of resources to produce a certain outcome.  as my economics professor told our class before, you don't use a diamond bit to pry open a peanut.

hope for the best; prepare for the worst

someone made a mistake yesterday.  mistakes fine with me...  who does not commit them?  what i didn't like was that the lady tried to cover it up and even had the gall to attribute it to me.  hello!

i really hope it does not jeopardize my purchase.  if it does, i will really get mad  ->  nobody likes that...  \m/

just the opposite

there is this someone i've decided to stop seeing.  so to ease the parting a bit, i left the guy links to my pics.  i was thinking, if ever he misses me or longs to see me, the pics would just substitute for the person.

well, guess what, this morning the guy texts me following up our next meeting.  (uhm...  yup, i've earlier said no more but later i agreed to one more.  ugh!)  he said he misses me, especially when he goes over my pics.  huh?!  that wasn't my intent at all!  i told the guy i gave him the links precisely to tide him over these 'missing you / wanna see you' phases.  he tells me the pics actually have the opposite effect.  uh-oh.  had i known i wouldn't have given him the links.

sometimes the outcome of our actions run contrary to our expectations...  : (

a human would have waived it

i had three hours free parking and i exceeded it, according to the attendant, by A FEW SECONDS so i had to pay...  she was apologetic...  i said it's ok, i understand  ->  it's the downside of computer precision...  : (

had i known though, i would have stayed an hour more...  a second and an hour cost the same...  : }

that is a long time

my mom and i were at a wake this afternoon.  now this lady was talking about her 92-year old husband who is a known womanizer.  she went, 'oh, that was a long time ago.  he did change.  when he was 87, he stopped already.'

huh?!  ahahaha...

simple joys

i entered a cousin's house and greeted everyone with "hallo..."

was i surprised when my one-and-a-half year old granddaughter replied with an oh-so-sweet "hi..."

whoa!  my heart immediately melted.  i unexpectedly felt sooo much joy, haha...
(by the way, i'm not a mom but i do have a granddaughter  ->  courtesy of a niece, daughter of my cousin's)

this cute little girl is usually aloof and snobbish and snooty and i think this is the first time she ever 'talked' to me.  (well, she doesn't really talk yet.)

it just amazed me how something as simple as "hi" could oh so quickly give someone so much joy.  yup, we do not need big, elaborate, impressive stuff to be happy.

: )

Someone's watching over me

i started the day thinking i made a BIG mistake...  the consequences would have been grave  ->  REALLY grave...

i lifted everything up to God and, guess what, He did not let me down...  He oh so quickly turned everything around...  i was so happy i was on the verge of tears...

God is really so good...  i felt so loved...  i felt so favored...  i am forever grateful...

maginoo at sobrang bastos ; p

i was discussing something really bland and wholesome with a guy when the text messages turned, uhm, naughty.  now i was at a store shopping with my mom that time (ok, she, shopping; me, window-shopping, hehe) and the latter messages i didn't hear the alert tones.  ahahaha...  turns out the guy was already texting apologies because he misinterpreted my no-replies as a sign i was offended.

ei, not sure this is something i should be proud of but i can take, dish even, these things...  i spent yearS with a group where the guys are green and lewd and obscene...  : O

no matter how you start a conversation, it always ends up about sex.  even if you talk about something somber or religious, they somehow manage to steer the topic to something, uhm, far from wholesome...  : }

oh, well...  these guys are bastos pero mga maginoo naman...  \m/

withstanding the test of time

a former neighbor who has been based in canada for years now visited my parents' place this evening.  she was with her husband and daughter and she was pointing out to them certain parts of the house where her old pictures were taken.  the husband said the place looked just like how it was in the pictures.  note that the pics he was referring to were taken oh soooo many years ago.

it called to mind remarks made by a high school buddy a few months back.  last time she was at my parents' place was when we were in college.  she kept marveling about how furniture and stuff were still the same ones that were there back when we were in high school, uhm, more than 30 years ago.

hmmm...  come to think of it, they're right...  my parents' furniture and a host of other things in the house have remained the same for ages, hehe.  they're still durable though.  and they don't look dated to me.  i guess some things are really built to last...

why can't it be?

i was bubbly leaving the house this afternoon...  then while driving, i received a message from and exchanged messages with (ok, ok...  only during traffic crawl) someone i don't want to but i have to avoid...  suddenly i was kinda sad...  </3

suspicious

missed call from a number not in my contacts list...  conceited / paranoid me thought it was some guy trying to get me to answer his call...  turns out 'twas from a bakeshop who misdialed the number they were calling...  hahaha...  toinks!!!

♩ ♪ like a kid out of school ♫ ♬

awake at 3:30 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep...  i don't really know why...  or maybe i do...

the other stanzas don't apply but this one does:

♩ ♪  heart, don't change my mind
oh, heart be strong this time and try
to help me tell him goodbye
it'll only bring pain for us to stay
oh, heart it's hard for you i know
let me let him go  ♫ ♬

</3

for him i will

leaving my parents' place, my niece notices my phone.  she goes, 'i thought you don't bring your phone here, tita...'

uhm...  i was waiting for a call...  ♥

:")

curvy no more

friend telling me a couple of guys were looking for and asking about me at an assembly i missed.  she says she told them:

"payat na si cynthia, wala na siyang puwet..."
->  cynthia is thin now, she has no  more butt...

huh?!  wahaha...  true...  :'(

i've lost so much weight (25 lbs.!!!), the curves are gone, the shape is different...  : }

oh, well, at least i have cheekbones now...  not sure though whether that's a good trade-off...

i've changed : O

on the phone with a male friend...

friend:  'you have a date tomorrow?'

me:  'i dunno yet...  depends on whether he'll ask me...  i'm at his beck and call...  <chuckles>...'

<silence>

me:  'nag-iba na ang mundo, hehe'
->  the world has changed, hehe

friend:  'sino ka?  hindi kita kilala...'
->  who are you?  i don't know you...

aaarrrggghhhh!!!

not all the time

i receive a call.  guy greets me with, 'are you busy?  am i disturbing you?  are you on a date?'

hahaha...  take-off from my lines, huh!  you see, when i call this friend of mine, i go, 'sorry...  am i disturbing you?  is someone sitting on your lap?'  and i am only half-kidding, ahahaha!

anyway, so we talk and there i was blabbing away only to realize that the line has been cut off...  ooops...  ok...  wait for him to call again...  hmmm...  'twas taking a while...  i turn on my laptop intending to blog that he is unable to call again probably because someone was indeed sitting on his lap, hahaha...

guess what, i'm about to go to blogger and my phone rings  ->  it's the guy!  i tell him he was just in time as i was about to blog about him already.  he asks what about...  i say it's about the girl on his lap, ahahaha...

he chuckles then goes on defensive mode:  he's actually outside on his way to get something he's been craving, nope, not women, food...  ok, ok, whatever you say...  ; p

we stay on the phone and i do hear road sounds and finally i hear him ordering food...  oh, ok...  convinced you're a good boy  ->  just at this hour...  ; )

small world

ei, what do you know...  my high school buddy and my childhood playmate, both doctors (OB-Gyn), now working together at the same hospital in saudi arabia...  small world...  : )

when my high school buddy was working on her papers for the KSA, i told her i have a former neighbor who works as a doctor in the middle east, i just don't remember which country.  well, now i know not just the country but the hospital as well (saad specialist hospital in al-khobar).  instead of me telling her, she's the one informing me from afar...  nicey-nice to know...

hmmm...  i wonder how i came up in their conversation...  that i have to ask...  ; )

worse

i tell a male friend that a license-type warranty card for the item he bought for me, registered under his name, will be delivered by courier to his place.

now he lives alone and is out of the house most of the time.  he goes, 'oh, i should have used your address...'

me:  'huh?!  no way!  that would create records that would seem to indicate that we're living together!'

the guy chuckles and then goes, 'we should have used your mom's address then...'

yeah, right!  so 'twill appear as if we shacked up with my parents' blessings...  ugh!

don't hold on

some things you do on the basis of certain assumptions... once an assumption is proven wrong then you adjust your actions accordingly...

</3

the tall and short of it

nephew:  'how come <toot> didn't grow tall anymore?'

me:  'combination of genetics and environment...'

nephew:  'that's her course?'

me:  'haha...  no...  if you'll notice, on grandpa's side, they're tall;  grandma's, short.  she got her height from grandma's side.  that's her genes...'

nephew:  'jeans...  pants?'

me:  'G, E, N, E, S...  genes...  the ones you get from your ancestors...'

nephew:  'gins...  like beer?'

me:  'G, E, N, E, S...  not G, I, N...  didn't you take that up in school?'

nephew:  'we'll have chemistry next year...'

uhm...  i think you take that up in biology...  : }

i'm too old for this

text exchange this morning:

guy:  "...  r u free 2 tok? ..."

me:  "Haha... m on d road n my dad's car... "

guy:  "U driving? ..."

me:  "Nope..."

guy:  "Cn i kol?"

me:  "Haha... don't... m right behind my mom..."

ugh!  as if i'm some wide-eyed teen!  yuck!  : }

i can handle this

on the phone...

guy apologizes for being makulit (insistent / persistent)...

i go, "it's ok...  but as i've said, no matter what it is, it's not going anywhere."

guy:  "i don't mind...  i don't mind..."

then he adds, "do you?"

me:  "haha...  good question..."

uhm...  i'm kinda sad about it actually...  but i can handle it...  i've been through this so many times before...  <sigh>

intense

the guy was telling me that there was some other pretty girl (yeba!) at the place that day but i was the one who somehow piqued his curiosity.

i went, 'oh, just like what i like to say...  you meet so many handsome men, you meet so many pretty women, but not everyone causes your heart to skip a beat...  not everyone triggers a spark...'

guy:  'mine was combustion...  it was an explosion...'

awww...  :")

old or mean

someone was telling me that he was trying to call me at my globe number but he coudn't get through. oh... he really won't be able to -> i lost that number in july yet... when i was at a mall in tacloban...

this is not the first time someone has tried reaching me through my old numbers. well, none of those remain actually. i had my numbers changed months back.

if you're trying to call / text me and you can't get through / i don't reply, then either of two things:

1. you have my old numbers

2. i don't wanna talk to you

\m/

change in priorities

i returned my 4-day-old baby (canon EOS 600D EF-S 18-135mm IS) to the store yesterday.  the flash gets stuck and i intermittently get the message i have to turn the camera off and on to get it to work.  i called up twice and both times, different store personnel told me to bring it to the store for replacement (it is brand new.).

when i got there, however, the store owner gave me 3 options:

1.  bring the camera to canon to get an order of replacement
2.  leave the camera with them (for around a week) and they'll be the one to send it to canon
3.  get my money back

i chose the 3rd.  i'm taking it as a sign.  i actually found the camera rather heavy.  in fact, after using it at my dad's party, i started considering getting another powershot.  a cousin has actually warned me before that a heavy cam is not suitable for my shooting style  ->  hand held, arms raised, oh-so-frequent-click-click-click.  i did not listen.  my mind was set on a vari-angle DSLR...  : }

good thing i'm getting a second chance...

i'll be checking out other DSLRs.  canon still  (i've been a canon girl since the late '70s.  ugh!  ancient!!!).  with a heavy heart, i'm letting go of my vari-angle requirement  (all my powershots, even my sony and sanyo, have been vari-angle.).  weight is now a *major* consideration...  \m/

deutsch

on the phone: 'what do we put, ma'am?'

me: 'happy birthday, <fats>... V, A, T, S... <fats> pronunciation but spelling's vats... from Vater, german of father...'

and then we had to go through the spelling a couple more times...

me: '<fats>... V as in victory, alpha, tango, sierra... just like <folks vagen> (volkswagen)... spelling's V but pronunciation's F...'

<confusion>

me: 'hmmm... ok, let's have it this way... 'happy birthday, vats' ... V as in victory, alpha, tango, sierra'

understood! : D

whew!

lesson learned, when you're on the phone, pronounce it like you spell it... set aside your german language classes lest some other message appear on the cake... ; p

bad news not welcome

i bumped into a former colleague yesterday.  guess what, he immediately chided me for not furnishing him a copy of a, uhm, 'documentation' i was required to submit.  ooops...  that one...  it's been months and it still crops up every once in a while...  : }

i told him i furnished only the persons involved plus their bosses, of course.  i also included certain people who've sent me certain e-mails.  that's about it, however.

i said it wouldn't be good to disclose these things to everyone. people would be more at peace thinking things are like so than be confronted with the shocking (and alarming) truth... : }

well, it turns out he has read my 'documentation' anyway.  someone shared it with him. uh-oh-oh... this is not the first time someone i did not furnish told me he has read my 'report.'

hmmm... it really wouldn't harm me no matter how many people get hold of that 'documentation.'  every single statement there stands on solid ground.  but then it really would be embarrassing, to put it very, very, very mildly, for those involved.  much as i don't agree with the actions and inaction of these people, i have no intention whatsoever of exposing anyone oh so widely.  my intention, pure and simple, was to correct the situation before it's too late.

i have so left that chapter of my life behind.  i definitely am happy with the decision i made.  i sincerely hope most of the things pointed out in my 'document' has improved by this time.  if not, please don't tell me... i don't wanna know.

the exception

sometime in your life
you meet someone
who shatters your resolve
breaks all your rules
gives you a taste of heaven
and drags your soul to hell

the deal

if you are already committed or are not yet ready to commit, then don't bother me.

i neither share nor take away.

and my sights are set on forever.

don't blow it away

i like wearing dresses and skirts...  i find them more comfortable than pants...  girlie-girl, too...  : )

the thing is, sometimes you have to contend with the wind...  : }

one time i had a flight...  normally, from previous experience, at least, you'd enter the plane through a tube, right?  very uneventful...  well, this flight to a province, the passengers entered and exited the plane by walking on the tarmac...  uh-oh...  it was windy!!!  i had a hard time keeping modest...  : O

another time i was out in a balloon, above-the-knee, empire-style sundress...  the weather was fine...  and then guess what, a gust of wind suddenly blew my dress  ♩ ♪  so high that i could almost see eternity  ♫ ♬...  uuuuhhhh!  :"O

just recently, i was wearing what i thought was a safe dress...  close to the body, a bit long...  so there i was walking and the wind kept on blowing my dress to and fro  ->  no thanks at all to the side slits...  ugh!  i did not take that into consideration...  : }

well, this afternoon, it was rainy and windy...  i put on a body-hugging, ankle-length dress (haha...  gown?) with no slits whatsoever...  hah!  the wind could not do anything with it!  : D

there i was walking and i felt so silly smiling to myself thinking i finally won one over the wind...  hey, hey, hey...  you have to learn your lesson sometime...  \m/

complicating the simple

there is a supposed order to the taking of Holy Communion in the church where i attend mass.  communicants queue pew by pew, front to back, rightmost churchgoer to leftmost.  this is so to have a smooth traffic flow from the time people leave their seats to the time they go back.

well, this evening, the guy to my left, instead of going behind me at the queue, positioned himself in front of me.  then, maybe realizing his mistake and trying to make up somehow, stopped instead of going forward and let *each and every* person in our pew go ahead of him.  the result was that going back to our seats, i had to tread over each and every one of my kneeling seatmates until i reached my spot at the end of the pew...  : }

i dunno.  i was thinking the guy could so easily have corrected his mistake by moving behind me instead of letting everyone else go before him.

sometimes we make simple things complicated  ->  and wreak havoc on an otherwise orderly arrangement...

no shame

we were in an elevator this afternoon going down from the 14th floor to the ground floor.  i was pre-occupied with my phone and every time the elevator doors would open, i'd absent-mindedly walk towards them to exit only to be stopped by my friend who'd exclaim, 'not ground floor yet!'

i'd retreat then the doors would open again and, eyes on my phone, i'd try to exit again and my friend would stop me again.  this happened several times, from the 11th floor up to the 2nd floor.  the other passengers were grinning already.

i dunno but i was more amused than embarrassed... : }

am i too thick-skinned or what? : O

digital fatigue

following up my mom's DSL connection...  i was on the phone with the telco's IVRS for what seemed like forever waiting for an agent to take my call...  the background audio was playing over and over again and i burst out laughing when said *digital recording* seemed to get tired itself (!?)...

at some point, the voice seemed to choke and sounded a bit like a drunken guy:

'Please stayon thline until a rep-sen-tive becomes avaaaailllable to take your co-holll.'

wahaha...  comic relief...  ; p

creating and dissolving

it takes two to create a relationship.  if one party does not allow it to develop, then no matter what effort the other one puts in, nothing will come out.

it, however, takes only one to end a relationship.  the moment one party decides to let go, no matter how the other one holds on, then the relationship is no more.

</3

up and down and up and down... and up

three years ago, i blogged about the aegis song 'luha'...  these were my thoughts then:

     http://maria0cynthia.blogspot.com/2008/09/laughter-is-gone.html

     http://maria0cynthia.blogspot.com/2008/09/timely.html

well, i've been over the song for quite a while now...  i'd hear it and i wouldn't anymore get all squirmy inside...  in fact, i'd break out into a smile and roll my eyes remembering how the song used to affect me so...

then this evening i heard it again...  i was fine until the line:

♩ ♪  at ito ang 'yong tandaan

ako'y masyadong nasaktan  ♫ ♬

->  and remember this

i was really hurt

ugh!  suddenly a heartache  ->  and not from the same guy!  aarrrrgggghhhh!!!

oh, well...  i'm sure this will pass...

' looks like i'm going through the different parts of the song...  i hope i come full circle soonest and end up laughing again...

late discovery

trying to find a certain message and wandered into the Other folder under my facebook Messages.  whoa!  taken aback by what was in there:  quite a number of messages a couple of which are somewhat important.  uh-oh...  i haven't really been clicking that part...  : }

the things we miss when we don't explore around...

If I tagged YOU, it's because I want to know more about YOU. Really.

1. Were you named after anyone? my mom says i was named after cynthia ugalde...  a former beauty queen...  : ) 2. When was the last time you cried? ouch!  just recently...  september 7, 2011...  </3 3. Do you like your handwriting? uhm...  it's ok but it's too big...  : } 4. What is your favorite lunch meat? spam 5. Do you have kids? none 6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? definitely!  : ) 7. Do you use sarcasm? yup...  very subtly at times you won't even notice...  \m/ 8. Do you still have your tonsils? yes 9. Would you bungee jump? i'd like to try!!! 10. What is your favorite cereal? nesvita, original flavor... 11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? uhm...  i rarely wear shoes with a shoelace but, yup, i think i do... 13. What is your favorite ice cream? vanilla...  double dutch... 14. What is the first thing you notice about people? complexion (i like them dark)...  teeth...  butt...  : ) 15. Red or pink pink 16. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? i don't bring cash...  hahaha...  my mom is aghast...  : } 17. Who do you miss the most? well, none really at the moment...  but if i'm going to miss someone it has to be the one who loved me best...  ♥ 18. Do you want everyone to complete this list? why not? 19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? not wearing pants nor shoes right now... 21. What are you listening to right now none...  i like silence... 22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? blue...  a light shade, not dark...  it's my favorite color... 23. Favorite smells? newly-showered...  natural smells, not perfume... 24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? oh, someone who so unexpectedly broke my heart  </3 i'm actually taking this quiz to, uhm, lighten up a bit after that call...  : ( 26. Favorite sports to watch? not a sports fan 27. Hair color? black 28. Eye color? black 29. Do you wear contacts? nope 30. Favorite food? here goes (cut and paste from one of my blogs): melted ice cream, vanilla milkshake, chocolates, leche flan, really fresh tuna sushi/maki with just the right dash of wasabi, estrel's caramel cake, starbucks chocolate cake, sugarhouse cashew toffee, red ribbon brazo de mercedes, goldilocks sans rival i also like sinigang na hipon for chocs, i like those with nuts... no raisins, please....  31. Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings!!!  : D 32. Last movie you watched alice in wonderland...  ugh!  it's been a while...  : } 33. What color shirt are you wearing? blue 34. Summer or winter? summer 35. Hugs or kisses? both, please...  oh, ok...  kisses...  ♥ 37. Most likely to respond? dunno 38. Least likely to respond? dunno 39. What book are you reading now? ' haven't read a book in a looooooong while...  : } 40. What is on your mouse pad? esprit logo 41. What did you watch on tv last night? none...  i rarely watch TV...  : } 42. Favorite sound(s)? the sound of silence 43. Rolling stones or beatles? beatles 44. What is the farthest you have been from home? U.S. 45. Do you have a special talent? i love deeply...  i love truly...  i love well...  ♥♥ 46. Where were you born? quezon city 47. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back? hmmm...  i don't think he's into these quizzes...  : (

true colors

bought tropical grove iced tea, original, pasteurized, natural flavor... product of lassonde, canada... carton says No preservatives No artificial color ingredients however list 'caramel color' hmmm...  i guess that means there are technicalities about what falls under artificial color... i wonder how food would look if no ingredient for coloring's sake was added at all...

car fool

my last two heartbreaks started out with a car. the first one, we were driving along EDSA and the guy suddenly grabbed my hand.  i tried pulling away but i really couldn't flail too much as i was afraid we'd figure in a vehicle collision.  my strength was no match to the guy who was big and, uhm, cute so eventually i gave in. true i was dating but having a boyfriend was farthest from my mind that time as i was supposed to fly to the US with my mom and my aunts the following month.  well, i had to be left behind.  not only did i get into an unexpected relationship that time, i also quite so quickly ended up a bride to an in-a-rush-to-get-married-groom.  talk about whirlwind.  and i guess, you sow a whirlwind, you reap a storm...  : ( the other one was again unexpected.  so this guy and i went out and then close to midnight, supposedly cinderella me wanted to go home.  well, the guy didn't want me to.  i insisted and stood up to walk over to my car.  what does he do?  he blocked the door!  as in, this tall (and dark and handsome, aaww) guy was standing right in front of my car door!  ugh! i didn't want to create a scene so i just kept on begging him to let me in.  he wouldn't. finally i told him my legs are tired and i wanted to sit down.  that was effective, he let me in (but not before offering his lap.  huh?!  no, thank you.). that was not the end of it, however.  the guy this time positioned himself between the open door and the car itself such that i couldn't close the door without squeezing him.  aaarrrrggghhh!!! it seemed like forever that we've been talking and bargaining and my heart bled a bit seeing him hold such uncomfortable squatting position just to keep me from driving off.  i decided to get out of the car and walked him over to the other side of the parking lot.  guess what, he again followed me when i walked back to my car! we had a light moment kidding about walking each other back and forth across the parking lot. my resistance wore out and i eventually ended up his girl that early morn beside my car in the parking lot. the guy promised me the moon and the stars unfortunately the relationship turned out to be more like a meteor.  it disintegrated leaving behind wishes that did not quite come true...  </3 anyway, i was telling a friend i guess i'll have to add a new rule now. it used to be, i won't ride any guy's car anymore.  either we'll bring separate cars or we'll both take public transportation. how about no more walking to cars as well?  as in, dine, say thank you and goodbye then walk away alone.  but i guess you cannot really stop guys from following if they really want to. my friend suggested next time after dinner i'll excuse myself to go to the rest room but proceed instead to my car.  once inside, i'll just call the guy and say goodbye from a very slightly open car window.  wahaha...  paranoid...  but safe...  ; p so guys, ' am blogging this.  if ever i really resort to that, please understand it's not because i lack manners or am weird or insane.  i'm just trying to learn from the lessons of the past.

there are places i remember ; )

i was scheduled to meet a former officemate at gateway mall in cubao yesterday.  now i am a quezon city girl.  i was born and i grew up there, leaving only when i got married after which i transferred to taguig.  well, that was more than a decade ago.

and so i asked my officemate where she wants to meet.

she said at kickers.

me:  you know the place?

officemate:  yes.

me:  you've been there?

officemate:  yes.

me:  ok.  i'll find it.  are there seats there?

officemate:  there's a circular area in front.

ok.  so yesterday i went to gateway and stopped by at the concierge to ask where kickers is.  guess what, they said there's no kickers there!

me:  'really???!!!'

concierge:  'yes, ma'am.'

uh-oh...  i didn't bring my phone...  : }

me:  'is there a store here that sells kickers items?'

concierge:  'you can try rustan's, ma'am...'

ok.  go to rustan's i did.

me:  'do you have kickers here?'

sales assistants ask around then tell me:  'none, ma'am.  kickers is in shangri-la and makati.'

what the....  i was thinking my officemate probably just got the store name wrong so i looked around for a circular area at the mall.  i found one and loitered there awhile.  well, no sight of my officemate.

i decided to look for some other area that could at least pass for round.  i walked over to the escalator praying to God to please let me see my officemate.

guess what, going down the escalator i spotted her leaning against a railing at the floor below.  whoa!  talk about prayers so quickly answered!  God is really good!  : D

my officemate saw me and burst into chuckles going 'sorry, sorry...'

i was like, 'what kickers on earth were you talking  about???!!!'

it turns out her memory somehow faltered and the kickers store she had in mind was actually at some other mall.

well, we found each other somehow so no problem.

we tried out the natural-cut fries with sea salt at wendy's then walked around the mall.

she was looking for an item she said she bought at a gift gate store.

hmmm...  we asked around whether there's gift gate there and were told there's none.

i went, 'i know gift gate is at ali mall.'

my officemate goes, 'let's go there.'

me:  'you sure?  that's far.  i'm not going to go with you back to gateway if we go there.'  (she's going to take public transportation near gateway.)

she said it's ok.

off to ali mall we went.  we stopped by the concierge to ask where gift gate is.

their reply?  there's no gift gate there.

what???!!!  so lightning struck twice???!!!  : O

i went, 'but there used to be?'

concierge:  'that's a long time ago, ma'am.'

wahaha...

♩ ♪  there are places i remember all my life
though some have changed
some forever, not for better
some have gone and some remain  ♫ ♬

; p

inside not out

i had on a red shirt saying

NEW YORK

PARIS

L♥NDON

MILAN

i actually bought it from tacloban as pasalubong for my sister but she found it a bit body-hugging so she gave it back to me...

anyway, an aunt was telling me from a certain angle she thought my shirt print had <toot>... oh...

uhm... that would be a bit too much love if i have that guy's name on my shirt... nah-ah... nope... he remains in my heart (ugh!) but i don't intend to announce that in my clothes...  </3

yes or no

RULES: 1. You can ONLY answer YES or NO. 2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING UNLESS someone messages you or comments and asks. = = = = = 1.  Asked someone to marry you? no 2.  Wished you kissed anyone of your Facebook friends? yes 3.  Been arrested? yes 4.  Slept in until 5pm? yes 5.  Fallen asleep at work/school? yes 6.  Held a snake? no  7.  Ran a red light? yes 8.  Been suspended from school? no  9.  Written off your car/motorbike in an accident? no  10.  Been fired from a job? no  11.  Regretted NOT saying something to someone in your Facebook friends? yes 12.  Sang karaoke? yes  13.  Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? yes  14.  Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? yes 15.  Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yes  16.  Kissed in the rain? yes  17.  Kissed someone you shouldn't? yes 18.  Sang in the shower? yes 19.  Did something you thought you couldn't do? yes  20.  Sat on a rooftop? yes 21.  Got lost? yes  22.  Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? yes  23.  Broken a bone? no  24.  Shaved your head? no 25.  Got handcuffed? no  26.  Got a tattoo? no 27.  Blacked out from drinking? no  28.  Played a prank on someone? yes 29.  Felt like killing someone? no 30.  Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? yes  31.  Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? no 32.  Been in a band/choir? yes 33.  Tripped on mushrooms? no 34.  Donated Blood? no 35.  Eaten alligator meat? no 36.  Joined a marathon? no 37.  Eaten snake and bayawak meat? no 38.  Was grounded? no 39.  Still love someone you shouldn't? yes 40.  Think about the future? yes 41.  Believe in love? YES!!!  >-♥♥->